Monday, December 14, marks one year since Laura passed away. I know many of you are thinking of us all during this time, and perhaps wondering how we are doing. From my perspective, it is certainly difficult not to replay what was going on this time last year…
I try so hard to consciously live out what I wrote about Hope in October. For example, that Friday night (this week I have been thinking more of what was going on in a particular day of that last week in 2008 versus the date) was the last time she was alone with Heather (for which I am so grateful) and it was our last night together. Certainly it was the longest night of my life. I start to think about every hour of that night, being with her alone in the house, as the night progressed coming to grips with what was going to happen, talking to her not knowing if she could understand me, knowing that I was going to have to take her to the hospital, but at the same time not wanting to because I realized we would never be alone again.
It is painful to think about that now. So, at the same time, one year later, I am listening to the kids in the bath, happy as can be, laughing and playing together! We just got home from their ice skating lesson, we are about to go out to dinner with Laura's family, and life is so much more peaceful and promising now.
A year ago tomorrow, on Saturday, I think of all the things that we had to go through, my brother-in-law Johnny being at the hospital right after me first thing at 6:30 in the morning, of the support of my entire family, of what her parents and sister must have been thinking as they drove to the hospital, and of the pain that everyone felt… I remember feeling pity for the doctor that had to deliver the news to me and ask for the decision on what to do, I remember then telling the family the news of what was to happen and what we needed to do, of holding Laura's hand and whispering into her ear… "Honey, it's okay, you can go now, I love you and I'll see you soon", hearing the pain in people's voices and seeing it in their eyes as I told them, and the long and terrible night ahead prior to her passing on Sunday morning… these things and many more are burned into my memory and try relentlessly to surface.
But, I tell you that this weekend could easily be about focusing on all of those things and dredging up that pain… but it will not be. It will be about remembering Laura as we do every day, realizing that she is gone and there is nothing we can do about that fact, having faith that we will be with her and each other again, and focusing on all of the things that are happening now with those of us lucky enough to be here, and of the joy to come in life if we let it!
Everything that happens to us leaves a mark… it changes us as a person. We all have, or will, lose someone we love. When that happens, we can never be the same. In this past year, I have learned that it is okay and expected to grieve and that the pain of the loss will be dulled, but will not go away. At the same time I have learned to smile and take joy in listening to kids play in the bathtub!
I have been reflecting on the year and wondering if there was a moment I should share. I remember one moment vividly… it was at the end of the Missouri Boys State program this June. It was my first year as Director of the program, and historically the Director reads a list of those that have passed on and says a few words about them. For those of you who have been there, you know how emotional it can be… every year it is. All the one thousand Boys Staters, their families, and 150 plus staff members are in the college gymnasium… the lights go dark, and taps is played immediately after. Knowing this leading up to the program I didn't know if I could do it… but I knew I had to. It turned into a highly emotional moment for me, because Boys State has been a huge part of my life. Laura supported my involvement and knew how much I cared about it. She know it was part of doing something worthwhile with your life... which she was so clearly committed to. She was loved by my friends and brothers on the Boys State staff. I thought a lot about what I was going to (try to) say. As I was saying it, I felt as if I was alone, talking to her and thanking her for the years of support… it was an incredibly special moment for me. Here are my remarks (copied verbatim from my talking notes):
"LAURA PLUNKETT
LAURA WAS MY WIFE AND THE WONDERFUL MOTHER OF OUR TWO YOUNG CHILDREN, MORGAN AND JACK. FROM THE FIRST DAY WE MET, SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT MY EXPERIENCES AT BOYS STATE HAD SHAPED THE MAN THAT I WAS AND THE HUSBAND AND FATHER I WOULD BECOME. SHE SUPPORTED ME AND ENABLED ME TO CONTINUE TO GIVE MY TIME TO BOYS STATE, EVEN AFTER WE STARTED OUR FAMILY. SHE UNDERSTOOD THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS PROGRAM. SHE KNEW MY BEST FRIENDS IN LIFE WERE FROM THE BOYS STATE STAFF. INDEED, SHE CONSIDERED THEM PART OF OUR FAMILY.
SHE DIED IN DECEMBER AFTER A COURAGEOUS AND INSPIRING BATTLE WITH BREAST CANCER. SHE DEMONSTRATED TO ME AND EVERYONE SHE MET THE POWER OF FAITH, LOVE, HOPE AND DETERMINATION.
I HOPE SHE WILL SERVE AS A REMINDER TO OUR STAFF OF THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR FAMILIES, WHO ALLOW US THE TIME TO SERVE THIS FINE PROGRAM.
I CHERISH HER MEMORY. SHE IS DEEPLY MISSED. MAY SHE REST IN PEACE."
I know she does Rest In Peace. Let us remember to Live In Peace.
I know it is what she wants.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Hope
I've thought a lot about the topic of this posting recently... sorry it has taken me so long to commit it to writing.
The other night in a support group meeting at the Solace House (where the kids and I have been going for several months now... what a wonderful blessing), the counselor in my group asked the question... "Do you have hope? If so, how?"
Fortunately, I was the last one to have to answer the question... not because I couldn't answer, but because to me it is so much more than just saying "yes". I really wanted to communicate why it is possible (for me) to have hope, and also why it was always possible for Laura to have hope. So, I had some time to reflect on that while others answered the question. A few others in the room (each had lost a spouse) indicated that they really didn't have hope... that they were in such despair and shock that they didn't even know what hope was.
Much of what I will describe I learned by witnessing Laura's incredible determination. Some of which we built together (consciously and unconsciously) in the four years she battled her breast cancer. And, some of this framework I have developed for myself in a determination to cope since we lost her.
In my opinion, to have "hope" is to be able to look forward in life and reasonably believe that life is worth living and fulfilling. For all of us, it is certainly easy to feel this way when things are going well, but perhaps most important to feel this way when things are at their worst. That is when it is easiest to lose hope. I believe hope is a mindset and a framework for dealing with life that must be understood, developed, and forged in times of happiness so that it will be there for us in times of challenge.
As I sat there waiting to answer the question, particularly as I listened to those few that did not believe they could have hope, I realized that I had never been at that level... never had I been truly in despair. Even in the hospital with Laura during those final days and hours, even watching her go, even on that painful drive from the hospital trying to figure out how to tell Morgan and Jack that Mommy was gone, even during those early weeks -- nights alone, up at two or three in the morning thinking about all that had been lost, and even now during the moments that I ache for the fact that she is not here... I have NEVER felt that life wasn't worth it. I have never felt hopelessness. I never felt that I/we wouldn't be happy. Some suggest, and have suggested, that I was just trying to be strong, but truly it is genuine.
Why?... I wondered as I sat there.
Suddenly (and luckily about 10 seconds before it was my turn to speak!) I realized there were three things that had helped shaped my hope, and that always would... quite simply they are: (1) realizing there are many things that are completely OUT of my control and they must be accepted, (2) knowing that there are many things that are IN my control that must be acted upon, and (3) having a genuine belief that life WILL offer many wonderful and happy moments.... moments worthy of being hopeful and living through the sad and challenging times.
Though we never put these labels on it specifically, I witnessed Laura exhibit this outlook... and in turn I developed these traits in myself. It was certainly a struggle at times for both of us to accept her disease and the possibility that she might die. But, somehow over time we simply accepted that was part of the deal, life was not fair, and we could not change what happened. We could only do the things that were in our control. There were physical things... getting the best medical treatment, etc. But the most important thing that was in our control was how we would deal with it emotionally. We were resolved (driven by Laura) to be positive and live a normal life... and we did. In those four years, we became closer in our marriage, and our kids had a normal happy life during some very formative years. The alternative - living with anger and hopelessness - was simply not acceptable.
Having hope is so important. I now know first hand that bad things will happen. But, I also now take comfort in the fact that my hope and genuine happiness is not dependent on bad things never happening... that would truly be false hope.
If anyone is reading this, particularly those of you that are going through breast cancer or any other of life's inevitable challenges, please understand that this hasn't been easy... for me having hope doesn't mean I am always happy. It means that while it is okay and expected to be sad at times, I am resolved not to live sadly.
For Laura, it was the same. She was sad at times... but as I wrote in this blog the night she died, never for long!
One more thing... only recently were we able to place Laura's marker at her gravesite. For those of you that would like to visit her grave, it is located in Mount Moriah Cemetary just south of I-435 on Holmes Road in Kansas City. The gravesite is located towards the back (east) of the cemetary, just south of the lake and next to a stone bridge. The kids and I find it a peaceful place to visit... and the kids like the lake! There is a vase attached to the in-ground marker. Please contact me (msplunk@gmail.com) if you would like specific directions.
I want to share with you what is inscribed on her marker. The message is driven by her hope. She used to say to Morgan... "You are my heart" and to Jack "You are my smile". I wanted to incorporate this into the inscription so each of them would have a personal message and an everlasting reminder that they are truly a product of their Mommy. The inscription reads:
Laura Walsh Plunkett
May 10, 1972 – December 14, 2008
A Wonderful and Truly Beautiful
Daughter, Sister, Friend, Wife, and Mommy
We will always love you and miss you dearly,
but it comforts us to know that
your heart lives on in Morgan,
your smile lives on in Jack,
and your incredible hope and spirit lives on in us all.
So it must. And so it does.
Peace and hope to you all,
Michael
The other night in a support group meeting at the Solace House (where the kids and I have been going for several months now... what a wonderful blessing), the counselor in my group asked the question... "Do you have hope? If so, how?"
Fortunately, I was the last one to have to answer the question... not because I couldn't answer, but because to me it is so much more than just saying "yes". I really wanted to communicate why it is possible (for me) to have hope, and also why it was always possible for Laura to have hope. So, I had some time to reflect on that while others answered the question. A few others in the room (each had lost a spouse) indicated that they really didn't have hope... that they were in such despair and shock that they didn't even know what hope was.
Much of what I will describe I learned by witnessing Laura's incredible determination. Some of which we built together (consciously and unconsciously) in the four years she battled her breast cancer. And, some of this framework I have developed for myself in a determination to cope since we lost her.
In my opinion, to have "hope" is to be able to look forward in life and reasonably believe that life is worth living and fulfilling. For all of us, it is certainly easy to feel this way when things are going well, but perhaps most important to feel this way when things are at their worst. That is when it is easiest to lose hope. I believe hope is a mindset and a framework for dealing with life that must be understood, developed, and forged in times of happiness so that it will be there for us in times of challenge.
As I sat there waiting to answer the question, particularly as I listened to those few that did not believe they could have hope, I realized that I had never been at that level... never had I been truly in despair. Even in the hospital with Laura during those final days and hours, even watching her go, even on that painful drive from the hospital trying to figure out how to tell Morgan and Jack that Mommy was gone, even during those early weeks -- nights alone, up at two or three in the morning thinking about all that had been lost, and even now during the moments that I ache for the fact that she is not here... I have NEVER felt that life wasn't worth it. I have never felt hopelessness. I never felt that I/we wouldn't be happy. Some suggest, and have suggested, that I was just trying to be strong, but truly it is genuine.
Why?... I wondered as I sat there.
Suddenly (and luckily about 10 seconds before it was my turn to speak!) I realized there were three things that had helped shaped my hope, and that always would... quite simply they are: (1) realizing there are many things that are completely OUT of my control and they must be accepted, (2) knowing that there are many things that are IN my control that must be acted upon, and (3) having a genuine belief that life WILL offer many wonderful and happy moments.... moments worthy of being hopeful and living through the sad and challenging times.
Though we never put these labels on it specifically, I witnessed Laura exhibit this outlook... and in turn I developed these traits in myself. It was certainly a struggle at times for both of us to accept her disease and the possibility that she might die. But, somehow over time we simply accepted that was part of the deal, life was not fair, and we could not change what happened. We could only do the things that were in our control. There were physical things... getting the best medical treatment, etc. But the most important thing that was in our control was how we would deal with it emotionally. We were resolved (driven by Laura) to be positive and live a normal life... and we did. In those four years, we became closer in our marriage, and our kids had a normal happy life during some very formative years. The alternative - living with anger and hopelessness - was simply not acceptable.
Having hope is so important. I now know first hand that bad things will happen. But, I also now take comfort in the fact that my hope and genuine happiness is not dependent on bad things never happening... that would truly be false hope.
If anyone is reading this, particularly those of you that are going through breast cancer or any other of life's inevitable challenges, please understand that this hasn't been easy... for me having hope doesn't mean I am always happy. It means that while it is okay and expected to be sad at times, I am resolved not to live sadly.
For Laura, it was the same. She was sad at times... but as I wrote in this blog the night she died, never for long!
One more thing... only recently were we able to place Laura's marker at her gravesite. For those of you that would like to visit her grave, it is located in Mount Moriah Cemetary just south of I-435 on Holmes Road in Kansas City. The gravesite is located towards the back (east) of the cemetary, just south of the lake and next to a stone bridge. The kids and I find it a peaceful place to visit... and the kids like the lake! There is a vase attached to the in-ground marker. Please contact me (msplunk@gmail.com) if you would like specific directions.
I want to share with you what is inscribed on her marker. The message is driven by her hope. She used to say to Morgan... "You are my heart" and to Jack "You are my smile". I wanted to incorporate this into the inscription so each of them would have a personal message and an everlasting reminder that they are truly a product of their Mommy. The inscription reads:
Laura Walsh Plunkett
May 10, 1972 – December 14, 2008
A Wonderful and Truly Beautiful
Daughter, Sister, Friend, Wife, and Mommy
We will always love you and miss you dearly,
but it comforts us to know that
your heart lives on in Morgan,
your smile lives on in Jack,
and your incredible hope and spirit lives on in us all.
So it must. And so it does.
Peace and hope to you all,
Michael
Friday, July 31, 2009
10 Years Today
Laura and I were married July 31, 1999, ten years ago today. I know that today will be difficult at times for me, and I do feel a particular sadness and real void with her absence. I don't spend much time thinking about "what could have been", but tonight I am thinking about ten years ago, about the special trip we were planning to take for this anniversary, and about how we would have felt looking back on ten years and looking forward to many more. It will seem sad and strange to just have a regular day.
Our wedding and the events that surrounded it were so special. We were very happy, and everyone seemed to have a great time and was happy for us. It was a wonderful time of life, and the memories are so fresh for me even today. It literally feels like yesterday.
The night before our wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, we gathered in the house of my good friend, Randy Gray. My friends began to offer me advice, one-by-one. The only one that I remember was from my friend, and Boys State hero, Jim Whitfield. Jim had recently lost his wife of many decades, and I remember the look on his face and the pain he felt when he simply said.... "just cherish her".
I always did cherish her, and still do. I just never thought we would have so little time.
I hope we will all remind ourselves to cherish the ones we love and to find joy in the moments we share; not just the big events, but the everyday lives we live together.
Our wedding and the events that surrounded it were so special. We were very happy, and everyone seemed to have a great time and was happy for us. It was a wonderful time of life, and the memories are so fresh for me even today. It literally feels like yesterday.
The night before our wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, we gathered in the house of my good friend, Randy Gray. My friends began to offer me advice, one-by-one. The only one that I remember was from my friend, and Boys State hero, Jim Whitfield. Jim had recently lost his wife of many decades, and I remember the look on his face and the pain he felt when he simply said.... "just cherish her".
I always did cherish her, and still do. I just never thought we would have so little time.
I hope we will all remind ourselves to cherish the ones we love and to find joy in the moments we share; not just the big events, but the everyday lives we live together.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
May 10th
Today, May 10th, was both Mother's Day and Laura's 37th birthday. Leading up to today, I didn't really know what to expect. I know those of you that knew about the two occasions were concerned about us. The only thing I cared about was making it a normal day for the kids, and not a sad one.
Morgan and Jack decided they wanted to make balloons and send them up to Mommy. They had so much fun doing it, and there was not a sad moment. They wrote messages on each balloon... Jack told me what to write and Morgan wrote her own messages. Both kids just had a great day, a very normal day... not a sad moment for either of them. Morgan had a soccer game this afternoon, her entire team wore pink ribbons in Laura's honor, and her friend Rachel brought her a pink rose.
I must admit, though, it was very difficult for me at times. It was the most emotional day since Laura passed away. It just wasn't right that she couldn't be here. She loved days like this so much... and this would have been her day. I remember her being like a little girl every time she got presents on her birthday, Christmas, etc. I just ached not being able to share this day with her.
This morning, Morgan and I were talking about Laura, as we do every day. Only this time, I broke down and started crying. I was really disappointed in myself because Morgan had been happily talking about her Mommy and I didn't want to upset her. However, she didn't get upset at all. She just hugged me, kept smiling, looked directly in my eyes and insisted "Now Daddy, remember, you have to always think about the happy times with Mommy... you just have to". I couldn't believe it. She is 8. I wondered where she got her wisdom, strength, and compassion. Then I realized the obvious answer....
From Laura.
Morgan and Jack decided they wanted to make balloons and send them up to Mommy. They had so much fun doing it, and there was not a sad moment. They wrote messages on each balloon... Jack told me what to write and Morgan wrote her own messages. Both kids just had a great day, a very normal day... not a sad moment for either of them. Morgan had a soccer game this afternoon, her entire team wore pink ribbons in Laura's honor, and her friend Rachel brought her a pink rose.
I must admit, though, it was very difficult for me at times. It was the most emotional day since Laura passed away. It just wasn't right that she couldn't be here. She loved days like this so much... and this would have been her day. I remember her being like a little girl every time she got presents on her birthday, Christmas, etc. I just ached not being able to share this day with her.
This morning, Morgan and I were talking about Laura, as we do every day. Only this time, I broke down and started crying. I was really disappointed in myself because Morgan had been happily talking about her Mommy and I didn't want to upset her. However, she didn't get upset at all. She just hugged me, kept smiling, looked directly in my eyes and insisted "Now Daddy, remember, you have to always think about the happy times with Mommy... you just have to". I couldn't believe it. She is 8. I wondered where she got her wisdom, strength, and compassion. Then I realized the obvious answer....
From Laura.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sorry It Has Been So Long!
Hello all - I know that a few of you have looked to the blog to see how we have been doing, and I am sorry it has been so long since the last posting. I want you to know that Morgan, Jack, and I are all doing well. We sure do miss Laura, though.
Having the kids around is absolutely the best medicine. An old fried of mine sent me a note and reminded me that kids can "find such joy in things we see as mundane or common" -- so true! Morgan and Jack were taking a bath together tonight and they were just having a ball, laughing and playing a make believe "family" game with all their little plastic ducks. It was such a joy for me just to listen to them as I was folding laundry. Both kids are happy and seem to be adjusting to a new life without Laura physically with us, but we talk about her and remember her on a daily basis. She really is present.
As for me, I constantly think about Laura. There are moments that I struggle mightily with the fact that Laura isn't here and I can't be with her. There are moments that I miss her so profoundly that I try to somehow put it out of my mind. But, those are only moments. Generally, my thoughts are of the wonderful things we experienced and reflections of everyday moments that we shared. I hope that she would be proud of the way that I am trying to really live life and create a happy, safe, and nurturing home for our precious kids.
I think about Laura's parents and sister all the time, and pray for peace for them. I know that this is all very difficult, and I know for a fact how much she loved them and how important they were to her. I am grateful that I will always be a part of their family.
It becomes more clear to me every day what a blessing it was to all of us to have had Laura in our lives. Although it would be easy to do so, we should try not to mythologize her. She was a real person, with everyday faults and moments of weakness just like all of us. But, there were so many incredible things about her. She was so wonderful, and so genuinely interested in doing the right thing. She loved her family so deeply. She was just an incredible person. Her example will always be a lesson to me... and to Momo and Jack.
We have done a number of things over the past few months since the holidays. The kids and I went to Arkansas and to a Razorbacks basketball game with my uncle Marshall and we just got back from several days visiting my brother in San Francisco. Jack had his 5th birthday. Morgan is starting soccer (I am the coach), both kids are still going strong in Taekwondo (they get their new belts on Friday), and I plan for a new session of Boys State (my first session as Director). We have established new routines at home, I am keeping up with laundry and meals, slowly getting the house straightened up, but the kids probably still get to sleep too late. Most importantly, the business of living life goes on!
Our family and friends have been so great. Everyone has pitched in to help, or offered to help. Many of you have offered to help in some way, and I have not been able to take you up on it... it is appreciated nevertheless.
That is all for now... I will try to post more regularly. But feel free to send me a note anytime at msplunk@gmail.com or on Facebook. I appreciate it.
Peace to you all,
Michael
Having the kids around is absolutely the best medicine. An old fried of mine sent me a note and reminded me that kids can "find such joy in things we see as mundane or common" -- so true! Morgan and Jack were taking a bath together tonight and they were just having a ball, laughing and playing a make believe "family" game with all their little plastic ducks. It was such a joy for me just to listen to them as I was folding laundry. Both kids are happy and seem to be adjusting to a new life without Laura physically with us, but we talk about her and remember her on a daily basis. She really is present.
As for me, I constantly think about Laura. There are moments that I struggle mightily with the fact that Laura isn't here and I can't be with her. There are moments that I miss her so profoundly that I try to somehow put it out of my mind. But, those are only moments. Generally, my thoughts are of the wonderful things we experienced and reflections of everyday moments that we shared. I hope that she would be proud of the way that I am trying to really live life and create a happy, safe, and nurturing home for our precious kids.
I think about Laura's parents and sister all the time, and pray for peace for them. I know that this is all very difficult, and I know for a fact how much she loved them and how important they were to her. I am grateful that I will always be a part of their family.
It becomes more clear to me every day what a blessing it was to all of us to have had Laura in our lives. Although it would be easy to do so, we should try not to mythologize her. She was a real person, with everyday faults and moments of weakness just like all of us. But, there were so many incredible things about her. She was so wonderful, and so genuinely interested in doing the right thing. She loved her family so deeply. She was just an incredible person. Her example will always be a lesson to me... and to Momo and Jack.
We have done a number of things over the past few months since the holidays. The kids and I went to Arkansas and to a Razorbacks basketball game with my uncle Marshall and we just got back from several days visiting my brother in San Francisco. Jack had his 5th birthday. Morgan is starting soccer (I am the coach), both kids are still going strong in Taekwondo (they get their new belts on Friday), and I plan for a new session of Boys State (my first session as Director). We have established new routines at home, I am keeping up with laundry and meals, slowly getting the house straightened up, but the kids probably still get to sleep too late. Most importantly, the business of living life goes on!
Our family and friends have been so great. Everyone has pitched in to help, or offered to help. Many of you have offered to help in some way, and I have not been able to take you up on it... it is appreciated nevertheless.
That is all for now... I will try to post more regularly. But feel free to send me a note anytime at msplunk@gmail.com or on Facebook. I appreciate it.
Peace to you all,
Michael
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thank You Everyone!
I am so touched by the outpouring of support from everyone. It will take me some time to thank each of you personally, but until then please know that your words, prayers, presence, and love are deeply felt and profoundly appreciated. There were so many of you that I did not get to really talk to, or just spoke with you briefly, and I look forward to connecting with you soon.
I was dreading tonight. It was the first night I have been alone in the house, as the kids are with Laura's parents (Nana and Peepaw!). But, it has been a peaceful evening of wrapping Christmas presents and just relaxing. I really miss Laura and I find myself constantly reminded of her and times we spent together. But, I think the past several days of honoring and remembering Laura and bearing witness to the incredible number of people she affected has helped me a great deal.
The kids are just doing great. Today, we slept in, then piled into bed and watched cartoons and movies for awhile... and wrestled. They miss their Mommy, but they really are happy. I just love being with them.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas week!
- Michael
My contact information is as follows:
12475 Slater Ln., Overland Park, KS, 66213
913-314-3825
msplunk@gmail.com
I was dreading tonight. It was the first night I have been alone in the house, as the kids are with Laura's parents (Nana and Peepaw!). But, it has been a peaceful evening of wrapping Christmas presents and just relaxing. I really miss Laura and I find myself constantly reminded of her and times we spent together. But, I think the past several days of honoring and remembering Laura and bearing witness to the incredible number of people she affected has helped me a great deal.
The kids are just doing great. Today, we slept in, then piled into bed and watched cartoons and movies for awhile... and wrestled. They miss their Mommy, but they really are happy. I just love being with them.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas week!
- Michael
My contact information is as follows:
12475 Slater Ln., Overland Park, KS, 66213
913-314-3825
msplunk@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Memorial Arrangements
Friends --
The link on the title of this post will take you to Laura's obituary in the Kansas City Star. In summary, the visitation is from 6:30-8:30 on Thursday and the funeral service is at 11:00 on Friday. Both will be held at the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. See www.cor.org for the address and other information.
I am really looking forward to seeing those of you that can make it later this week. For those of you that cannot, I will see you soon! Regardless of your physical presence, your love and support is deeply felt. I have received many emails, phone calls, and postings on this blog. I am sorry I cannot respond to every one, but I want to when the time comes soon. I have listened to or read every one of them... they are a source of joy and comfort!
For those of you that may be traveling to Kansas City and may be interested in air travel assistance, our funeral director gave me this: call 800-224-4177, use reference #2770. This may provide you with bereavement fare at a reduced rate. I am sorry I didn't have the opportunity to post this sooner. But, if you have already made plans, I would suggest checking anyway to see if discounts are available.
We had a good day! Laura is constantly in my thoughts and everything reminds me of her, and as every hour goes by I feel even more blessed to be her husband and to have made this journey with her. As I told her friend Tina today -- if I could do it again, even with knowing the pain of her loss would come.... I would! I would not trade a moment. She changed me as a person, and I will focus my life on our incredible kids just as we both have with her watching over all of us.
Now, I am going to bed to cuddle with Momo, she is sleeping soundly. I am betting Jack will be in our room when he wakes up in the middle of the night as usual, so I will leave a little space for him too!
I hope peace is with all of you.... goodnight.
Michael
The link on the title of this post will take you to Laura's obituary in the Kansas City Star. In summary, the visitation is from 6:30-8:30 on Thursday and the funeral service is at 11:00 on Friday. Both will be held at the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. See www.cor.org for the address and other information.
I am really looking forward to seeing those of you that can make it later this week. For those of you that cannot, I will see you soon! Regardless of your physical presence, your love and support is deeply felt. I have received many emails, phone calls, and postings on this blog. I am sorry I cannot respond to every one, but I want to when the time comes soon. I have listened to or read every one of them... they are a source of joy and comfort!
For those of you that may be traveling to Kansas City and may be interested in air travel assistance, our funeral director gave me this: call 800-224-4177, use reference #2770. This may provide you with bereavement fare at a reduced rate. I am sorry I didn't have the opportunity to post this sooner. But, if you have already made plans, I would suggest checking anyway to see if discounts are available.
We had a good day! Laura is constantly in my thoughts and everything reminds me of her, and as every hour goes by I feel even more blessed to be her husband and to have made this journey with her. As I told her friend Tina today -- if I could do it again, even with knowing the pain of her loss would come.... I would! I would not trade a moment. She changed me as a person, and I will focus my life on our incredible kids just as we both have with her watching over all of us.
Now, I am going to bed to cuddle with Momo, she is sleeping soundly. I am betting Jack will be in our room when he wakes up in the middle of the night as usual, so I will leave a little space for him too!
I hope peace is with all of you.... goodnight.
Michael
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Laura's New Journey
Our dear friends and family -- I am so sorry to tell you that Laura passed away peacefully this morning. She is whole again in body and spirit and watching over her beloved children, family, and friends. I am so happy that she will no longer have to endure the difficulties of her courageous fight -- although she would have continued without complaint!
On Friday, as she was going through another set of MRI and CAT scans (in a very weakened state) I told her yet again that I was so sorry she was having to do this... she replied that she would "do whatever she had to do" and she also told me she was at peace with whatever was going to happen. In the end, the progression of her disease in the last few weeks was an unstoppable force -- a force we believe even the drug trial wouldn't have stopped.
There are so many things that I want to say to all of you -- and I am certain I cannot think through them all tonight. But, there are a few to start with.
First and most importantly, to those of you who are in your own battle with breast cancer. Laura would be devastated to think that her passing would cause you any doubt or fear. Laura won so many battles along the way, she overcame her disease many times. She was an unbelievable fighter and wouldn't tolerate pity from others or herself. The best way you can honor her is to continue your fight with determination, hope, peace, and joy in living your life. She said to all of us that "every cancer is unique". It is, and you can beat it... so do it.
Second, to those of you who have supported and prayed for her and us -- I am forever grateful. Your support has lifted us and continues to provide us comfort. We are going to be fine. Morgan and Jack are beginning to come to terms with this. Morgan was very upset at first, but she understands her Mommy's spirit is still with her. We are sitting on the couch watching a movie together -- and she just ate her second bowl of ice cream! She is so sweet. Jack has asked me several times if we will get to see Mommy again when we go to heaven (of course we will!). Both have asked me why this happen. I tell them the truth, that there is no reason that we can understand. But, we are all at peace and with each other and our incredible family.
Third, to you all -- It is ok to be sad.... but not for too long. Laura never was!
I will post the specifics of the arrangements when we make them. Likely the service will be held Thursday or Friday.
And, I will continue to post for Laura. I will update you on how we are doing, and on our recollections of Laura and the lessons she taught all of us. I am so proud of her.
These posts will still come signed by her, as I am using her account. I think that is how she would want it.
Peace and God's grace be with you all.
- Michael
On Friday, as she was going through another set of MRI and CAT scans (in a very weakened state) I told her yet again that I was so sorry she was having to do this... she replied that she would "do whatever she had to do" and she also told me she was at peace with whatever was going to happen. In the end, the progression of her disease in the last few weeks was an unstoppable force -- a force we believe even the drug trial wouldn't have stopped.
There are so many things that I want to say to all of you -- and I am certain I cannot think through them all tonight. But, there are a few to start with.
First and most importantly, to those of you who are in your own battle with breast cancer. Laura would be devastated to think that her passing would cause you any doubt or fear. Laura won so many battles along the way, she overcame her disease many times. She was an unbelievable fighter and wouldn't tolerate pity from others or herself. The best way you can honor her is to continue your fight with determination, hope, peace, and joy in living your life. She said to all of us that "every cancer is unique". It is, and you can beat it... so do it.
Second, to those of you who have supported and prayed for her and us -- I am forever grateful. Your support has lifted us and continues to provide us comfort. We are going to be fine. Morgan and Jack are beginning to come to terms with this. Morgan was very upset at first, but she understands her Mommy's spirit is still with her. We are sitting on the couch watching a movie together -- and she just ate her second bowl of ice cream! She is so sweet. Jack has asked me several times if we will get to see Mommy again when we go to heaven (of course we will!). Both have asked me why this happen. I tell them the truth, that there is no reason that we can understand. But, we are all at peace and with each other and our incredible family.
Third, to you all -- It is ok to be sad.... but not for too long. Laura never was!
I will post the specifics of the arrangements when we make them. Likely the service will be held Thursday or Friday.
And, I will continue to post for Laura. I will update you on how we are doing, and on our recollections of Laura and the lessons she taught all of us. I am so proud of her.
These posts will still come signed by her, as I am using her account. I think that is how she would want it.
Peace and God's grace be with you all.
- Michael
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tomorrow is the big day!
hi friends and family.....just wanted to remind you all that my first day of new treatment with this new super-charged hrtcepton. Though doctors won't give you any treatments until you have scan resuults ...I will assume once the drug hits my veins tomorrow morning , I will already assume the good is working.
Because I respond quickly to medicine, I assume this will be this way the new chemo. I not only respond quicker, but respond positively. This first dose is will be a big dose so I may not write an update until the weekend. I will write sooner an update if I can. Normally my first two or three days on a big I, this usually mean the medicine is doing great!
Blessings,
Polo
Because I respond quickly to medicine, I assume this will be this way the new chemo. I not only respond quicker, but respond positively. This first dose is will be a big dose so I may not write an update until the weekend. I will write sooner an update if I can. Normally my first two or three days on a big I, this usually mean the medicine is doing great!
Blessings,
Polo
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Trial update
Hi Friends, Just wanted to shoot you a quick update regarding the trial and the last couple of weeks. I have not written much on the blog because there has not been much time. I mean, I have not felt strong enough to write. It looks like this whole process is going to start over for me. As I have been winding down with my pain meds and my antibiotics. These were probably the strongest meds I have taken. Even though I am off the meds as of yesterday,some even longer, I am still weak and will be weak for a while.
The first 90 minutes of my trial drug infusion will start next week. So, I will probably start to feel better, then this drug will barrage a bunch of cancer cells so I will feel bad again. Then I have two weeks of blood work, one week of 30 minute, two weeks of blood work, etc.
I will definitely keep you posted. If you don't hear from me,personally in a couple of weeks, I will have someone from my family update you. My plan is to push through this last week of feeling icky and fatigued. I also plan on writing about my big accomplishments daily...such as today, I have spent this time writing on the blog, which is big I can barely sit up without bawbling.
Ironic how none of my cancer surgeries never caused me much pain (sofar), but the gall bladder is a doozy for everyone. So rest and recover, I will. Hope your day is great!
Blessings,
Lolo
The first 90 minutes of my trial drug infusion will start next week. So, I will probably start to feel better, then this drug will barrage a bunch of cancer cells so I will feel bad again. Then I have two weeks of blood work, one week of 30 minute, two weeks of blood work, etc.
I will definitely keep you posted. If you don't hear from me,personally in a couple of weeks, I will have someone from my family update you. My plan is to push through this last week of feeling icky and fatigued. I also plan on writing about my big accomplishments daily...such as today, I have spent this time writing on the blog, which is big I can barely sit up without bawbling.
Ironic how none of my cancer surgeries never caused me much pain (sofar), but the gall bladder is a doozy for everyone. So rest and recover, I will. Hope your day is great!
Blessings,
Lolo
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Rounding the corner, home to the new meds...
Just wanted to give you all a head's up regarding the Jeff City clinical trial I am going to be a part of. It looks like I will be mended enough from the surgery so that Michael and I can get there on Tuesday and redo all the scans. I think I have mentioned before these scans are based on 2 week period of time. My last set of them was two weeks ago so they would be too old for criteria inclusion when we send my padket into Genentech (thedrugco).
Also, a reminder,that because I have had the gaul bladder out recently...the insurance would not allow me to start for 28 days from the surgery. Just another rule they have, but it seems a be reasonable.
All this being said, I am on the schedule to do scans the beginnng of this week witht actual drug in two weeks. I will keep you posted if anything changes.
Blessings,
Lolo
Also, a reminder,that because I have had the gaul bladder out recently...the insurance would not allow me to start for 28 days from the surgery. Just another rule they have, but it seems a be reasonable.
All this being said, I am on the schedule to do scans the beginnng of this week witht actual drug in two weeks. I will keep you posted if anything changes.
Blessings,
Lolo
Monday, November 17, 2008
Jack...at TaeKwonDo Tournament
Here is Jack and his over-sized trophy. He loved that his trophy was blue. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but at his age level, the instructors help him do the moves. It was very sweet.
Morgan...at TaeKwonDo Tournament
Morgan, at her second TKD tournament. She got two trophies, one for her form and one for her weapons. She was very proud, just as Michael and her were happy that she tried hard. She is doing wonderfully. Lolo
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
What it looks like to start over...
This is what it looks like to start all over with the hair growth process. It has been coming in for about six weeks now. It is not very exciting. In fact, I don't think it is flattering at all, however, it is me. Not sure that I will go crazy with all my hair colors like I did before. Right now it is growing in an ashen-brown. It will grow in like this for about six months and then may change texture. It is hard to tell after all this chemo, what my hair will do. But, I am learning that it doesn't matter that much anymore.
Have a great Wednesday!
Laura
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
All went well!
Had my gall bladder removed yesterday and all went well. I usually do pretty good with surgery, and this was no exception. I can already tell a huge difference. I ate some normal food today, like bread or pasta and did not have any pain associated with eating. I also ate bland food as well. I am ramping up at a normal pace.
It is amazing that through all my cancer journey, this was the one thing that caused me the most pain. However, it is not directly related to cancer at all. I will probably spend the next week just relaxing and healing. I have doctors appointments to follow up with the surgery as well as the clinical trial.
Once we get closer to those steps, I will explain the science behind the medicine. But, if you don't mind, for now...I will just probably take it easy and write on the blog about my recovery. Once again, this is just a testament to pursuing your optimal health. I do get afraid just like everyone else, but I have to believe in my heart...that our instincts can and do guide our health.
I hope that each of you have a wonderful night with your families! I am going to do exactly that!
Laura
It is amazing that through all my cancer journey, this was the one thing that caused me the most pain. However, it is not directly related to cancer at all. I will probably spend the next week just relaxing and healing. I have doctors appointments to follow up with the surgery as well as the clinical trial.
Once we get closer to those steps, I will explain the science behind the medicine. But, if you don't mind, for now...I will just probably take it easy and write on the blog about my recovery. Once again, this is just a testament to pursuing your optimal health. I do get afraid just like everyone else, but I have to believe in my heart...that our instincts can and do guide our health.
I hope that each of you have a wonderful night with your families! I am going to do exactly that!
Laura
Sunday, November 9, 2008
My sister and me...
Yesterday was such a nice day. Like I mention below, I am on pain medicines that make me a little loopy so our extended family is helping with the kids and I am being babysat because I can not drive. I have not been out to do normal things for a while, but my sister needed an outfit for a school fund raiser she went to last night. So, I decided to join her because SHOPPING is MY THING!
Her theme was Irish, but the overall theme was Old World Market...or something like that. It was so nice to get out with her and being around Irish things, which remind me of my family. We got her all decked in a warm wool sweater, a scarf, hat and a killer purse. She had the rest of the stuff at home. We also got her husband, Johnny, a hat and scarf, too.
It was so nice to go hang with my sister and see her look so adorable in her outfit! I am sure she rocked the fund raiser last night. I know, in my eyes, she always rocks everything! She is amazing!
Blessings,
Lolo
Her theme was Irish, but the overall theme was Old World Market...or something like that. It was so nice to get out with her and being around Irish things, which remind me of my family. We got her all decked in a warm wool sweater, a scarf, hat and a killer purse. She had the rest of the stuff at home. We also got her husband, Johnny, a hat and scarf, too.
It was so nice to go hang with my sister and see her look so adorable in her outfit! I am sure she rocked the fund raiser last night. I know, in my eyes, she always rocks everything! She is amazing!
Blessings,
Lolo
Verdict is in...gall bladder is coming out!
Hi friends, just a quick update on me. After all this work to figure out whether the gall bladder is still an issue, we have figured out that I should have surgery to get it removed. Ultimately, these decisions come down to the patient and for me, I can tell my gall bladder needs some help, it is just not back to normal.
Of course, at this point, some might think I have a penchant for surgery. I wouldn't disagree with any of you if you thought that, however, I think this is probably the most thoughtful process we have gone through to determine whether this thing should be removed. I feel really good about the fact that this is the best option...as we have gone through most other options.
I have been on IV antibiotics for a while to see if the gall bladder would either resolve itself or "calm down", so to speak. We figured out that the resolution on its own did not work, but the antibiotics may allow me to have a less invasive procedure when I go in. This would be having them go in laparascopically over actually opening me up and taking it out.
The ideal scenario is to do the least invasive so the surgeon is going to try laparoscopic first...then if that does not work, he will do the other. I have been on pain medicines to help reduce the pain. I am not very good at managing this as I tend to just think I should push through the pain. Maybe that is the old athlete in me, regardless, this type of pain is probably the worst I have ever felt...so Michael has been helping me with that. He is, once again, a gem!
My surgery is scheduled for early tomorrow morning, around 7am. I am not sure what my recovery will be like, but I will update the blog for you all as soon as I can. I am praying for the laparoscopic recovery, but will expect to have the longer recovery. Expectations are important to me so I always try to walk through the least favorable scenario so that I can be prepared.
What else? Oh, the reason we really pushed for this surgery now, which we did, is because the clinical trial will want me to recover from this surgery before I start the treatment. Trials are really strict so if we were not to resolve this issue now, I could be kicked out of the trial if I have to have a surgery while on the trial.
I feel like we had about twenty doctors involved in this decision...from my oncologist, GI doctors, general surgeons, radiologists, etc. However, I could not feel better about the decision or the way the surgical team is so thorough. We need to make sure my body is in optimal condition for any medicine. This is that last big hurdle to get us there!
What this means for me in the future is that I will be able to eat normal food, like pizza, and not feel physically bad afterwards. I will be able to regain energy and start working out again. However, I will be taking it really slow. I am sure my family will insist on it and I need to take my time. I haven't felt good for a while so I need to give myself some turnaround time.
Please send any positive thoughts or comments your way. My goal is to have this surgery and to move forward to recovery and keep moving toward optimal health each and every day.
I continue to appreciate all of your support and will write when I can this week.
Blessings,
Lolo
Of course, at this point, some might think I have a penchant for surgery. I wouldn't disagree with any of you if you thought that, however, I think this is probably the most thoughtful process we have gone through to determine whether this thing should be removed. I feel really good about the fact that this is the best option...as we have gone through most other options.
I have been on IV antibiotics for a while to see if the gall bladder would either resolve itself or "calm down", so to speak. We figured out that the resolution on its own did not work, but the antibiotics may allow me to have a less invasive procedure when I go in. This would be having them go in laparascopically over actually opening me up and taking it out.
The ideal scenario is to do the least invasive so the surgeon is going to try laparoscopic first...then if that does not work, he will do the other. I have been on pain medicines to help reduce the pain. I am not very good at managing this as I tend to just think I should push through the pain. Maybe that is the old athlete in me, regardless, this type of pain is probably the worst I have ever felt...so Michael has been helping me with that. He is, once again, a gem!
My surgery is scheduled for early tomorrow morning, around 7am. I am not sure what my recovery will be like, but I will update the blog for you all as soon as I can. I am praying for the laparoscopic recovery, but will expect to have the longer recovery. Expectations are important to me so I always try to walk through the least favorable scenario so that I can be prepared.
What else? Oh, the reason we really pushed for this surgery now, which we did, is because the clinical trial will want me to recover from this surgery before I start the treatment. Trials are really strict so if we were not to resolve this issue now, I could be kicked out of the trial if I have to have a surgery while on the trial.
I feel like we had about twenty doctors involved in this decision...from my oncologist, GI doctors, general surgeons, radiologists, etc. However, I could not feel better about the decision or the way the surgical team is so thorough. We need to make sure my body is in optimal condition for any medicine. This is that last big hurdle to get us there!
What this means for me in the future is that I will be able to eat normal food, like pizza, and not feel physically bad afterwards. I will be able to regain energy and start working out again. However, I will be taking it really slow. I am sure my family will insist on it and I need to take my time. I haven't felt good for a while so I need to give myself some turnaround time.
Please send any positive thoughts or comments your way. My goal is to have this surgery and to move forward to recovery and keep moving toward optimal health each and every day.
I continue to appreciate all of your support and will write when I can this week.
Blessings,
Lolo
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Which came first...
Hi friends, I am sure most of you stayed up last night and watched the election. I did my best, but then had to catch some much needed rest. I don't talk politics, especially not on the blog, so I will just say that I hope that you all find a happy place in your heart for this election. :)
That being said, I wanted to educate you all regarding a couple of things. The first of which is related to your digestive tract. As many of you know, I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of weeks related to this issue. Ironically, my issues are not cancer-related at all, they are just digestive issues. They may be related to a toxic build-up of chemo, but no one is for sure. I am on the mend, but I am still on some pain medicines, which make me really tired, and antibiotics, which help to heal my gall bladder.
So through the process of all this happening with my stint surgeries and infection, we discovered that my gall bladder has sort of stalled out...meaning, it had a lot of gook in it that it wasn't releasing. The gall bladder is an organ that basically stores up bile for the liver. When we digest food, the gall bladder releases bile into the liver and we get rid of the bile and all of the waste. Through doing an ultrasound of me, I overheard the technician's say that my gall bladder was blocked so it wasn't releasing that bile.
Most people might equate gall bladder issues to having gall stones, as this is the most common of things that happens. I did not have actual stones yet, but my gall bladder was blocked, like I had stones. So, this is where that old adage "which came first, the chicken or the egg came in?" Which came first, the gall bladder being infected causing issues with the stint...or vice versa? Having this issue was very painful, at times. I have been through a lot, but I must admit, as they were trying to figure out the problem...there were a lot of moments of pain.
Doctors are not really sure if the gall bladder issue came first or the stint issue came first...they think the stint was blocking the gall bladder, but not sure. Because of all these new procedures they have...that are not considered to be surgical, they were able to go in and fix both. Because I am doing on-going treatment for cancer-related issues, they are always so sensitive with me...they want to make sure to do the least invasive things so I can get back on my merry way and get to treatment. This is great, amazing, really. This type of system was built for me because I do bounce back quickly and keep moving forward.
Regardless, I have had to spend a lot of time "being observed" in the hospital over October. Some of it I have written about on the blog, others of it, I have not. This is my personal choice, not to leave you all out of the mix. But, just because I was sick. At times, I had high fevers or was in a lot of pain as we were trying to figure this thing out. It has not been an easy road and to be honest, a lot of it is just too personal to share on a blog. Believe me, you would not want to know the details. :) I hope that all of you can understand that I am not trying to create a sense of fear on this blog by leaving things out, but a sense of hope. Like any good editor, I still get edit content in order to create the overall message...which is modeling how to LIVE with cancer, NOT DIE with it.
Because of my approach to sharing, it has come to my attention, that some small rumors are flying around that I am doing poorly or that my prognosis with cancer is poor. This could not be further from the truth. I am sorry that people feel that way or that they are worrying about this because it is just a waste of time. I hope that most of you do not feel that way, but I learned a long time ago that I can not change anyone person's fears or perspectives on cancer. I do not have any goal to change you, I just want to keep healing my cancer and generate a message of hope. I don't want any of you to think that cancer is a death sentence, if it happens to you. That is not the case, at all. No offense, but I plan on outliving most of you all anyway. :)
I know that sometimes by sharing information, this creates more questions and/or concerns. Please feel free to share your questions on the blog, as best you can so that others can learn, but also so that I can consolidate my answers. I know this blog is not the easiest to comment on so I will go out and try to work on that this week and figure out the glitches. I have turned on the "anonymous" function to make it easier, but I encourage each of you to write your names or a name on your questions, if you feel comfortable.
All that being said, my next steps are to stay on anti-biotics through the beginning of next week and see how and if my gall bladder heals on its own. The blockage to the gall bladder is open now and things seem to be working. I am able to digest food much better, yet I am sticking to the best low-fat diet as possible. This helps the gall bladder do its work to get me back to normal. I am also in a little pain as this happens because the gall bladder is making up for lost time, trying to pump out excess bile. So, I am on pain medicines until I can get off of them.
The process of getting the antibiotic takes about two hours daily and then there are the pain medicines, which require me to be away from my computer, at times. Once again, my whole family and Michael's family has pitched into help. My main goal is to be around the kids and play with them, but while on a sedating drug...I don't want to be the main caregiver. But the truth is Morgan and Jack and I are just so glad to be with each other and not in the hospital, that we will take anything we will get.
This past journey of finding my way through this digestive issue in October has had mixed blessings, yet I want to state that we have finally sourced the problem now, not just the symptom. We still don't know which came first, the gall bladder or the stint issues...but we know they were related. We also know my gall bladder will either resolve itself with these medicines or we have other options. The gall bladder is not a necessary organ...like the appendix or the spleen, it can be removed. However, we just need to resolve the issue before I actually start my next medicines as clinical trials are very strict in that regard. (By the way, recent scans still show the remaining cancer I have in my body as STABLE)
I think the gall bladder is fixing itself right now, which is how I would prefer it. I want my body to do it, not to have another surgery. So, that just takes a little longer. Yet, I get to be home with my husband and kids and I get to start building a sustainable daily life. This life includes a new vision of what normal is, it includes rest and relaxation, it includes continuing to focus on my health...but also, it includes remembering that my body has an ability to heal and wants to do so. Life is more than good, it is filled with blessings!
I plan on using the down time right now to work on my book. I always end up sharing so much on the blog that I end up being spent when it comes to working on the book. Sometimes, I feel as though it is selfish to work on the book, when I can share NOW on the blog. I am working on those emotions, though, and will try to balance both. The book is just as important because it will reach a new audience. I am excited about it and have had a vision about it since my diagnosis day almost four years ago.
Blessings,
Lolo
P.S. By the way, in case you all didn't know it, I have an amazing husband! Michael totally rocks and is so supportive...I am not even sure how I can put it all into words how great he is. He took the above picture when Jack and he were hanging out a couple of weeks ago while Morgan was in San Francisco. That is Jack's favorite ice cream...Crazy Colors.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Morgan, in her pink gear!
Morgan's class dressed up in pink last Thursday, for breast cancer awareness. It was very sweet. They made cards for people in the hospital for cancer treatment and the recipients loved them.
As far as my recovery goes, I am doing well. We are just giving my body time to heal a little before I start the new treatment. I am sure we will head out to Jefferson City one day this week to do updated blood counts and then start shortly, thereafter.
We are doing well. I hope that each of you are doing well, too. I have to get Jacky to school now so I will write more later.
Lolo
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Click on this title!
So, if you have not had a chance to buy the book, so to speak, you can read MY THIRD LUNG online at the link I have attached. The KC Star printed a picture of me, which you will see, along with a brief summary of my cancer journey. They put that information in their actual paper. Then they were able to make the full story available online, based on the approval of my publisher. Very cool of everyone involved. Publishers don't really want to make that information available so it was very kind of Adams Media.
If you are wondering when my next piece of published work will come out, I can not guarantee anything with that yet. However, the big push for the Pass It On! mailing is going out tomorrow, with the wonderful man-power of my parents and my sister. I will have one more mailing by the end of the year, but the big part of that is over. I am still working on outlining my book so that I can get it to agents. I haven't even had time to figure out who my targeted agents are, but they should probably WATCH OUT! That is a goal for me for the beginning of 2009.
With all the breast cancer awareness things going on and me having been in the hospital for a bit of this month and travelling to Jeff City, MO for trial "stuff"...my daughter and son are starting to feel the effects of those schedule issues. So, I have promised them that I will focus my writing and blog time to when they are busy at school or at a friends.
I plan on making November and December pretty festive months for them. I also plan on getting a lot of writing done when I can, but as I said in the news interview with Kelly Eckerman...to Michael and me, the kids come first. We will take them to my treatments at Jeff City, when their schedule allows, so they will get comfortable with that and some new doctors. But, the big thing for them is having Mommy take them to school and pick them up and play all I can with them. So, that will be my first priority.
I will try to write on the blog when they are at school or when they are in bed at night. The same will be true for the book and any other writing I do with my friend Tina Herold. I will keep you all posted about my health and try to educate you about this trial, as best I can. But, please consider me to be a well person. Like the title of this blog says, this is the story of a young mother living with cancer. (The implied commment thereafter is that I am not dying with it.) I plan on being here a long time. And this plan is based on real hope and real information, not just fluff.
Thanks for reading and keeping up with my story. I hope that I can throw just a little inspiration or hope your way. My main thing is that I am trying to educate you so that you will believe in your ability to navigate through the health system. We all have issues to deal with...mine is cancer, for another person, it could be heart disease or arthritis or diabetes or obesity. Regardless of what it is, addressing the issue in a preventive and/or treatable fashion is the best thing you can do for yourself! Begin NOW!
Blessings,
Lolo
If you are wondering when my next piece of published work will come out, I can not guarantee anything with that yet. However, the big push for the Pass It On! mailing is going out tomorrow, with the wonderful man-power of my parents and my sister. I will have one more mailing by the end of the year, but the big part of that is over. I am still working on outlining my book so that I can get it to agents. I haven't even had time to figure out who my targeted agents are, but they should probably WATCH OUT! That is a goal for me for the beginning of 2009.
With all the breast cancer awareness things going on and me having been in the hospital for a bit of this month and travelling to Jeff City, MO for trial "stuff"...my daughter and son are starting to feel the effects of those schedule issues. So, I have promised them that I will focus my writing and blog time to when they are busy at school or at a friends.
I plan on making November and December pretty festive months for them. I also plan on getting a lot of writing done when I can, but as I said in the news interview with Kelly Eckerman...to Michael and me, the kids come first. We will take them to my treatments at Jeff City, when their schedule allows, so they will get comfortable with that and some new doctors. But, the big thing for them is having Mommy take them to school and pick them up and play all I can with them. So, that will be my first priority.
I will try to write on the blog when they are at school or when they are in bed at night. The same will be true for the book and any other writing I do with my friend Tina Herold. I will keep you all posted about my health and try to educate you about this trial, as best I can. But, please consider me to be a well person. Like the title of this blog says, this is the story of a young mother living with cancer. (The implied commment thereafter is that I am not dying with it.) I plan on being here a long time. And this plan is based on real hope and real information, not just fluff.
Thanks for reading and keeping up with my story. I hope that I can throw just a little inspiration or hope your way. My main thing is that I am trying to educate you so that you will believe in your ability to navigate through the health system. We all have issues to deal with...mine is cancer, for another person, it could be heart disease or arthritis or diabetes or obesity. Regardless of what it is, addressing the issue in a preventive and/or treatable fashion is the best thing you can do for yourself! Begin NOW!
Blessings,
Lolo
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