Today, May 10th, was both Mother's Day and Laura's 37th birthday. Leading up to today, I didn't really know what to expect. I know those of you that knew about the two occasions were concerned about us. The only thing I cared about was making it a normal day for the kids, and not a sad one.
Morgan and Jack decided they wanted to make balloons and send them up to Mommy. They had so much fun doing it, and there was not a sad moment. They wrote messages on each balloon... Jack told me what to write and Morgan wrote her own messages. Both kids just had a great day, a very normal day... not a sad moment for either of them. Morgan had a soccer game this afternoon, her entire team wore pink ribbons in Laura's honor, and her friend Rachel brought her a pink rose.
I must admit, though, it was very difficult for me at times. It was the most emotional day since Laura passed away. It just wasn't right that she couldn't be here. She loved days like this so much... and this would have been her day. I remember her being like a little girl every time she got presents on her birthday, Christmas, etc. I just ached not being able to share this day with her.
This morning, Morgan and I were talking about Laura, as we do every day. Only this time, I broke down and started crying. I was really disappointed in myself because Morgan had been happily talking about her Mommy and I didn't want to upset her. However, she didn't get upset at all. She just hugged me, kept smiling, looked directly in my eyes and insisted "Now Daddy, remember, you have to always think about the happy times with Mommy... you just have to". I couldn't believe it. She is 8. I wondered where she got her wisdom, strength, and compassion. Then I realized the obvious answer....
From Laura.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sorry It Has Been So Long!
Hello all - I know that a few of you have looked to the blog to see how we have been doing, and I am sorry it has been so long since the last posting. I want you to know that Morgan, Jack, and I are all doing well. We sure do miss Laura, though.
Having the kids around is absolutely the best medicine. An old fried of mine sent me a note and reminded me that kids can "find such joy in things we see as mundane or common" -- so true! Morgan and Jack were taking a bath together tonight and they were just having a ball, laughing and playing a make believe "family" game with all their little plastic ducks. It was such a joy for me just to listen to them as I was folding laundry. Both kids are happy and seem to be adjusting to a new life without Laura physically with us, but we talk about her and remember her on a daily basis. She really is present.
As for me, I constantly think about Laura. There are moments that I struggle mightily with the fact that Laura isn't here and I can't be with her. There are moments that I miss her so profoundly that I try to somehow put it out of my mind. But, those are only moments. Generally, my thoughts are of the wonderful things we experienced and reflections of everyday moments that we shared. I hope that she would be proud of the way that I am trying to really live life and create a happy, safe, and nurturing home for our precious kids.
I think about Laura's parents and sister all the time, and pray for peace for them. I know that this is all very difficult, and I know for a fact how much she loved them and how important they were to her. I am grateful that I will always be a part of their family.
It becomes more clear to me every day what a blessing it was to all of us to have had Laura in our lives. Although it would be easy to do so, we should try not to mythologize her. She was a real person, with everyday faults and moments of weakness just like all of us. But, there were so many incredible things about her. She was so wonderful, and so genuinely interested in doing the right thing. She loved her family so deeply. She was just an incredible person. Her example will always be a lesson to me... and to Momo and Jack.
We have done a number of things over the past few months since the holidays. The kids and I went to Arkansas and to a Razorbacks basketball game with my uncle Marshall and we just got back from several days visiting my brother in San Francisco. Jack had his 5th birthday. Morgan is starting soccer (I am the coach), both kids are still going strong in Taekwondo (they get their new belts on Friday), and I plan for a new session of Boys State (my first session as Director). We have established new routines at home, I am keeping up with laundry and meals, slowly getting the house straightened up, but the kids probably still get to sleep too late. Most importantly, the business of living life goes on!
Our family and friends have been so great. Everyone has pitched in to help, or offered to help. Many of you have offered to help in some way, and I have not been able to take you up on it... it is appreciated nevertheless.
That is all for now... I will try to post more regularly. But feel free to send me a note anytime at msplunk@gmail.com or on Facebook. I appreciate it.
Peace to you all,
Michael
Having the kids around is absolutely the best medicine. An old fried of mine sent me a note and reminded me that kids can "find such joy in things we see as mundane or common" -- so true! Morgan and Jack were taking a bath together tonight and they were just having a ball, laughing and playing a make believe "family" game with all their little plastic ducks. It was such a joy for me just to listen to them as I was folding laundry. Both kids are happy and seem to be adjusting to a new life without Laura physically with us, but we talk about her and remember her on a daily basis. She really is present.
As for me, I constantly think about Laura. There are moments that I struggle mightily with the fact that Laura isn't here and I can't be with her. There are moments that I miss her so profoundly that I try to somehow put it out of my mind. But, those are only moments. Generally, my thoughts are of the wonderful things we experienced and reflections of everyday moments that we shared. I hope that she would be proud of the way that I am trying to really live life and create a happy, safe, and nurturing home for our precious kids.
I think about Laura's parents and sister all the time, and pray for peace for them. I know that this is all very difficult, and I know for a fact how much she loved them and how important they were to her. I am grateful that I will always be a part of their family.
It becomes more clear to me every day what a blessing it was to all of us to have had Laura in our lives. Although it would be easy to do so, we should try not to mythologize her. She was a real person, with everyday faults and moments of weakness just like all of us. But, there were so many incredible things about her. She was so wonderful, and so genuinely interested in doing the right thing. She loved her family so deeply. She was just an incredible person. Her example will always be a lesson to me... and to Momo and Jack.
We have done a number of things over the past few months since the holidays. The kids and I went to Arkansas and to a Razorbacks basketball game with my uncle Marshall and we just got back from several days visiting my brother in San Francisco. Jack had his 5th birthday. Morgan is starting soccer (I am the coach), both kids are still going strong in Taekwondo (they get their new belts on Friday), and I plan for a new session of Boys State (my first session as Director). We have established new routines at home, I am keeping up with laundry and meals, slowly getting the house straightened up, but the kids probably still get to sleep too late. Most importantly, the business of living life goes on!
Our family and friends have been so great. Everyone has pitched in to help, or offered to help. Many of you have offered to help in some way, and I have not been able to take you up on it... it is appreciated nevertheless.
That is all for now... I will try to post more regularly. But feel free to send me a note anytime at msplunk@gmail.com or on Facebook. I appreciate it.
Peace to you all,
Michael
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thank You Everyone!
I am so touched by the outpouring of support from everyone. It will take me some time to thank each of you personally, but until then please know that your words, prayers, presence, and love are deeply felt and profoundly appreciated. There were so many of you that I did not get to really talk to, or just spoke with you briefly, and I look forward to connecting with you soon.
I was dreading tonight. It was the first night I have been alone in the house, as the kids are with Laura's parents (Nana and Peepaw!). But, it has been a peaceful evening of wrapping Christmas presents and just relaxing. I really miss Laura and I find myself constantly reminded of her and times we spent together. But, I think the past several days of honoring and remembering Laura and bearing witness to the incredible number of people she affected has helped me a great deal.
The kids are just doing great. Today, we slept in, then piled into bed and watched cartoons and movies for awhile... and wrestled. They miss their Mommy, but they really are happy. I just love being with them.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas week!
- Michael
My contact information is as follows:
12475 Slater Ln., Overland Park, KS, 66213
913-314-3825
msplunk@gmail.com
I was dreading tonight. It was the first night I have been alone in the house, as the kids are with Laura's parents (Nana and Peepaw!). But, it has been a peaceful evening of wrapping Christmas presents and just relaxing. I really miss Laura and I find myself constantly reminded of her and times we spent together. But, I think the past several days of honoring and remembering Laura and bearing witness to the incredible number of people she affected has helped me a great deal.
The kids are just doing great. Today, we slept in, then piled into bed and watched cartoons and movies for awhile... and wrestled. They miss their Mommy, but they really are happy. I just love being with them.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas week!
- Michael
My contact information is as follows:
12475 Slater Ln., Overland Park, KS, 66213
913-314-3825
msplunk@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Memorial Arrangements
Friends --
The link on the title of this post will take you to Laura's obituary in the Kansas City Star. In summary, the visitation is from 6:30-8:30 on Thursday and the funeral service is at 11:00 on Friday. Both will be held at the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. See www.cor.org for the address and other information.
I am really looking forward to seeing those of you that can make it later this week. For those of you that cannot, I will see you soon! Regardless of your physical presence, your love and support is deeply felt. I have received many emails, phone calls, and postings on this blog. I am sorry I cannot respond to every one, but I want to when the time comes soon. I have listened to or read every one of them... they are a source of joy and comfort!
For those of you that may be traveling to Kansas City and may be interested in air travel assistance, our funeral director gave me this: call 800-224-4177, use reference #2770. This may provide you with bereavement fare at a reduced rate. I am sorry I didn't have the opportunity to post this sooner. But, if you have already made plans, I would suggest checking anyway to see if discounts are available.
We had a good day! Laura is constantly in my thoughts and everything reminds me of her, and as every hour goes by I feel even more blessed to be her husband and to have made this journey with her. As I told her friend Tina today -- if I could do it again, even with knowing the pain of her loss would come.... I would! I would not trade a moment. She changed me as a person, and I will focus my life on our incredible kids just as we both have with her watching over all of us.
Now, I am going to bed to cuddle with Momo, she is sleeping soundly. I am betting Jack will be in our room when he wakes up in the middle of the night as usual, so I will leave a little space for him too!
I hope peace is with all of you.... goodnight.
Michael
The link on the title of this post will take you to Laura's obituary in the Kansas City Star. In summary, the visitation is from 6:30-8:30 on Thursday and the funeral service is at 11:00 on Friday. Both will be held at the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas. See www.cor.org for the address and other information.
I am really looking forward to seeing those of you that can make it later this week. For those of you that cannot, I will see you soon! Regardless of your physical presence, your love and support is deeply felt. I have received many emails, phone calls, and postings on this blog. I am sorry I cannot respond to every one, but I want to when the time comes soon. I have listened to or read every one of them... they are a source of joy and comfort!
For those of you that may be traveling to Kansas City and may be interested in air travel assistance, our funeral director gave me this: call 800-224-4177, use reference #2770. This may provide you with bereavement fare at a reduced rate. I am sorry I didn't have the opportunity to post this sooner. But, if you have already made plans, I would suggest checking anyway to see if discounts are available.
We had a good day! Laura is constantly in my thoughts and everything reminds me of her, and as every hour goes by I feel even more blessed to be her husband and to have made this journey with her. As I told her friend Tina today -- if I could do it again, even with knowing the pain of her loss would come.... I would! I would not trade a moment. She changed me as a person, and I will focus my life on our incredible kids just as we both have with her watching over all of us.
Now, I am going to bed to cuddle with Momo, she is sleeping soundly. I am betting Jack will be in our room when he wakes up in the middle of the night as usual, so I will leave a little space for him too!
I hope peace is with all of you.... goodnight.
Michael
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Laura's New Journey
Our dear friends and family -- I am so sorry to tell you that Laura passed away peacefully this morning. She is whole again in body and spirit and watching over her beloved children, family, and friends. I am so happy that she will no longer have to endure the difficulties of her courageous fight -- although she would have continued without complaint!
On Friday, as she was going through another set of MRI and CAT scans (in a very weakened state) I told her yet again that I was so sorry she was having to do this... she replied that she would "do whatever she had to do" and she also told me she was at peace with whatever was going to happen. In the end, the progression of her disease in the last few weeks was an unstoppable force -- a force we believe even the drug trial wouldn't have stopped.
There are so many things that I want to say to all of you -- and I am certain I cannot think through them all tonight. But, there are a few to start with.
First and most importantly, to those of you who are in your own battle with breast cancer. Laura would be devastated to think that her passing would cause you any doubt or fear. Laura won so many battles along the way, she overcame her disease many times. She was an unbelievable fighter and wouldn't tolerate pity from others or herself. The best way you can honor her is to continue your fight with determination, hope, peace, and joy in living your life. She said to all of us that "every cancer is unique". It is, and you can beat it... so do it.
Second, to those of you who have supported and prayed for her and us -- I am forever grateful. Your support has lifted us and continues to provide us comfort. We are going to be fine. Morgan and Jack are beginning to come to terms with this. Morgan was very upset at first, but she understands her Mommy's spirit is still with her. We are sitting on the couch watching a movie together -- and she just ate her second bowl of ice cream! She is so sweet. Jack has asked me several times if we will get to see Mommy again when we go to heaven (of course we will!). Both have asked me why this happen. I tell them the truth, that there is no reason that we can understand. But, we are all at peace and with each other and our incredible family.
Third, to you all -- It is ok to be sad.... but not for too long. Laura never was!
I will post the specifics of the arrangements when we make them. Likely the service will be held Thursday or Friday.
And, I will continue to post for Laura. I will update you on how we are doing, and on our recollections of Laura and the lessons she taught all of us. I am so proud of her.
These posts will still come signed by her, as I am using her account. I think that is how she would want it.
Peace and God's grace be with you all.
- Michael
On Friday, as she was going through another set of MRI and CAT scans (in a very weakened state) I told her yet again that I was so sorry she was having to do this... she replied that she would "do whatever she had to do" and she also told me she was at peace with whatever was going to happen. In the end, the progression of her disease in the last few weeks was an unstoppable force -- a force we believe even the drug trial wouldn't have stopped.
There are so many things that I want to say to all of you -- and I am certain I cannot think through them all tonight. But, there are a few to start with.
First and most importantly, to those of you who are in your own battle with breast cancer. Laura would be devastated to think that her passing would cause you any doubt or fear. Laura won so many battles along the way, she overcame her disease many times. She was an unbelievable fighter and wouldn't tolerate pity from others or herself. The best way you can honor her is to continue your fight with determination, hope, peace, and joy in living your life. She said to all of us that "every cancer is unique". It is, and you can beat it... so do it.
Second, to those of you who have supported and prayed for her and us -- I am forever grateful. Your support has lifted us and continues to provide us comfort. We are going to be fine. Morgan and Jack are beginning to come to terms with this. Morgan was very upset at first, but she understands her Mommy's spirit is still with her. We are sitting on the couch watching a movie together -- and she just ate her second bowl of ice cream! She is so sweet. Jack has asked me several times if we will get to see Mommy again when we go to heaven (of course we will!). Both have asked me why this happen. I tell them the truth, that there is no reason that we can understand. But, we are all at peace and with each other and our incredible family.
Third, to you all -- It is ok to be sad.... but not for too long. Laura never was!
I will post the specifics of the arrangements when we make them. Likely the service will be held Thursday or Friday.
And, I will continue to post for Laura. I will update you on how we are doing, and on our recollections of Laura and the lessons she taught all of us. I am so proud of her.
These posts will still come signed by her, as I am using her account. I think that is how she would want it.
Peace and God's grace be with you all.
- Michael
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tomorrow is the big day!
hi friends and family.....just wanted to remind you all that my first day of new treatment with this new super-charged hrtcepton. Though doctors won't give you any treatments until you have scan resuults ...I will assume once the drug hits my veins tomorrow morning , I will already assume the good is working.
Because I respond quickly to medicine, I assume this will be this way the new chemo. I not only respond quicker, but respond positively. This first dose is will be a big dose so I may not write an update until the weekend. I will write sooner an update if I can. Normally my first two or three days on a big I, this usually mean the medicine is doing great!
Blessings,
Polo
Because I respond quickly to medicine, I assume this will be this way the new chemo. I not only respond quicker, but respond positively. This first dose is will be a big dose so I may not write an update until the weekend. I will write sooner an update if I can. Normally my first two or three days on a big I, this usually mean the medicine is doing great!
Blessings,
Polo
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Trial update
Hi Friends, Just wanted to shoot you a quick update regarding the trial and the last couple of weeks. I have not written much on the blog because there has not been much time. I mean, I have not felt strong enough to write. It looks like this whole process is going to start over for me. As I have been winding down with my pain meds and my antibiotics. These were probably the strongest meds I have taken. Even though I am off the meds as of yesterday,some even longer, I am still weak and will be weak for a while.
The first 90 minutes of my trial drug infusion will start next week. So, I will probably start to feel better, then this drug will barrage a bunch of cancer cells so I will feel bad again. Then I have two weeks of blood work, one week of 30 minute, two weeks of blood work, etc.
I will definitely keep you posted. If you don't hear from me,personally in a couple of weeks, I will have someone from my family update you. My plan is to push through this last week of feeling icky and fatigued. I also plan on writing about my big accomplishments daily...such as today, I have spent this time writing on the blog, which is big I can barely sit up without bawbling.
Ironic how none of my cancer surgeries never caused me much pain (sofar), but the gall bladder is a doozy for everyone. So rest and recover, I will. Hope your day is great!
Blessings,
Lolo
The first 90 minutes of my trial drug infusion will start next week. So, I will probably start to feel better, then this drug will barrage a bunch of cancer cells so I will feel bad again. Then I have two weeks of blood work, one week of 30 minute, two weeks of blood work, etc.
I will definitely keep you posted. If you don't hear from me,personally in a couple of weeks, I will have someone from my family update you. My plan is to push through this last week of feeling icky and fatigued. I also plan on writing about my big accomplishments daily...such as today, I have spent this time writing on the blog, which is big I can barely sit up without bawbling.
Ironic how none of my cancer surgeries never caused me much pain (sofar), but the gall bladder is a doozy for everyone. So rest and recover, I will. Hope your day is great!
Blessings,
Lolo
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