So, all this good karma keeps coming my way!

Alright, one of the things I don't really like about cancer is that it has compelled me to tell my story. That is why I blog, because it helps me get rid of this energy and desire that dictates what I need to say. I don't like talking about myself. If given a chance, I would much rather talk about any of you and all the wonderful things you are doing. Yet, in order to advocate for others, I have to share about myself. I hope that never seems braggy. I always try to approach it with humility, but I also want you to know the good things that can come from this disease. There are many unexpected gifts along the way.

Tonight, I will be accepting an award for my advocacy efforts at the In Living Pink dinner. The award is in honor of Jana Peters, who was a breast cancer survivor and co-author of Nordie's at Noon. Jana was a nurse and she was a fighter. After finding out I was so graciously nominated by my friends Rose and Tina...yes, I cornered them and made them fess up...I also immediately found out that I had won. The book Nordie's at Noon has done a lot of good for a lot of young women. It has helped many people to see that you don't have to actually get cancer in order to learn the wisdom of survivors.

Jana was like me. She was passionate about education. She was also Stage IV from very early on like me. She was an advocate for herself and for others. She advocated for women to do self-exams and she started the Ribbons of Pink organization that focused on educating young women to do self-exams and actively advocate for themselves.

After the nomination, I read and re-read her sections of the book in order to prepare for my acceptance speech. I was pleasantly surprised at how much we all have in common. There were many times when I was reading her and thought..."those very words have come out of my mouth before". Eerie. I must admit I don't feel worthy of the award, yet I will glad accept it. The reason I don't feel worthy is because I am alive and here and I get to live out my passion.

My passion is to help all of YOU! My passion is to educate people through my writing and other communications so that other people don't have to get a disease in order to find joy in their own existence. My passion is that you will appreciate those small moments in each little day be reading this blog or some of the other stories I am working on.

I remember when I was young, people would always say..."well, you always have your health" when things didn't seem to be going my way. Yet, now that my health seems a little shaky, I still have so much more than I ever thought I did. I have a voice in my existence and an effect on this world. Jana did too. Reading about her and just knowing of her existence really helped me to do many of the things that I am doing. She paved the way for me to survive and thrive with this disease.

Unfortunately, Jana lost her battle with cancer a couple of years ago. I hate to say it that way because it really connotes that cancer had a victory over her, when I believer she and her legacy are the real victors. I know she is missed, tremendously, by her friends and I wish I had known her personally because I get the impression we would have been great friends. She was a spit-fire like me, very spunky and vibrant...very full of life.

I have told you all that I consider my fight against cancer to be a full-time job and I take it seriously. I am still recovering from my surgery, but my bilirubin count is back in line! Yes, totally back in line. This permanent stint is doing its job. Though I feel uncomfortable throughout the day after eating, I know that my liver is healing. We still need one more liver count to come down so I can get on this trial. We believe that should happen over the next week and then I will be in the trial. I visualize myself in the trial as I can not accept anything less than that. I will meditate on my healing and believe we will get there. We have come so far.

So this awards ceremony is tonight and the wonder drug trial is around the corner. So many good things happening to me. I am truly blessed. I hope you feel the same.

Blessings,
Lolo