Which came first...

Hi friends, I am sure most of you stayed up last night and watched the election. I did my best, but then had to catch some much needed rest. I don't talk politics, especially not on the blog, so I will just say that I hope that you all find a happy place in your heart for this election. :)

That being said, I wanted to educate you all regarding a couple of things. The first of which is related to your digestive tract. As many of you know, I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of weeks related to this issue. Ironically, my issues are not cancer-related at all, they are just digestive issues. They may be related to a toxic build-up of chemo, but no one is for sure. I am on the mend, but I am still on some pain medicines, which make me really tired, and antibiotics, which help to heal my gall bladder.

So through the process of all this happening with my stint surgeries and infection, we discovered that my gall bladder has sort of stalled out...meaning, it had a lot of gook in it that it wasn't releasing. The gall bladder is an organ that basically stores up bile for the liver. When we digest food, the gall bladder releases bile into the liver and we get rid of the bile and all of the waste. Through doing an ultrasound of me, I overheard the technician's say that my gall bladder was blocked so it wasn't releasing that bile.

Most people might equate gall bladder issues to having gall stones, as this is the most common of things that happens. I did not have actual stones yet, but my gall bladder was blocked, like I had stones. So, this is where that old adage "which came first, the chicken or the egg came in?" Which came first, the gall bladder being infected causing issues with the stint...or vice versa? Having this issue was very painful, at times. I have been through a lot, but I must admit, as they were trying to figure out the problem...there were a lot of moments of pain.

Doctors are not really sure if the gall bladder issue came first or the stint issue came first...they think the stint was blocking the gall bladder, but not sure. Because of all these new procedures they have...that are not considered to be surgical, they were able to go in and fix both. Because I am doing on-going treatment for cancer-related issues, they are always so sensitive with me...they want to make sure to do the least invasive things so I can get back on my merry way and get to treatment. This is great, amazing, really. This type of system was built for me because I do bounce back quickly and keep moving forward.

Regardless, I have had to spend a lot of time "being observed" in the hospital over October. Some of it I have written about on the blog, others of it, I have not. This is my personal choice, not to leave you all out of the mix. But, just because I was sick. At times, I had high fevers or was in a lot of pain as we were trying to figure this thing out. It has not been an easy road and to be honest, a lot of it is just too personal to share on a blog. Believe me, you would not want to know the details. :) I hope that all of you can understand that I am not trying to create a sense of fear on this blog by leaving things out, but a sense of hope. Like any good editor, I still get edit content in order to create the overall message...which is modeling how to LIVE with cancer, NOT DIE with it.

Because of my approach to sharing, it has come to my attention, that some small rumors are flying around that I am doing poorly or that my prognosis with cancer is poor. This could not be further from the truth. I am sorry that people feel that way or that they are worrying about this because it is just a waste of time. I hope that most of you do not feel that way, but I learned a long time ago that I can not change anyone person's fears or perspectives on cancer. I do not have any goal to change you, I just want to keep healing my cancer and generate a message of hope. I don't want any of you to think that cancer is a death sentence, if it happens to you. That is not the case, at all. No offense, but I plan on outliving most of you all anyway. :)

I know that sometimes by sharing information, this creates more questions and/or concerns. Please feel free to share your questions on the blog, as best you can so that others can learn, but also so that I can consolidate my answers. I know this blog is not the easiest to comment on so I will go out and try to work on that this week and figure out the glitches. I have turned on the "anonymous" function to make it easier, but I encourage each of you to write your names or a name on your questions, if you feel comfortable.

All that being said, my next steps are to stay on anti-biotics through the beginning of next week and see how and if my gall bladder heals on its own. The blockage to the gall bladder is open now and things seem to be working. I am able to digest food much better, yet I am sticking to the best low-fat diet as possible. This helps the gall bladder do its work to get me back to normal. I am also in a little pain as this happens because the gall bladder is making up for lost time, trying to pump out excess bile. So, I am on pain medicines until I can get off of them.

The process of getting the antibiotic takes about two hours daily and then there are the pain medicines, which require me to be away from my computer, at times. Once again, my whole family and Michael's family has pitched into help. My main goal is to be around the kids and play with them, but while on a sedating drug...I don't want to be the main caregiver. But the truth is Morgan and Jack and I are just so glad to be with each other and not in the hospital, that we will take anything we will get.

This past journey of finding my way through this digestive issue in October has had mixed blessings, yet I want to state that we have finally sourced the problem now, not just the symptom. We still don't know which came first, the gall bladder or the stint issues...but we know they were related. We also know my gall bladder will either resolve itself with these medicines or we have other options. The gall bladder is not a necessary organ...like the appendix or the spleen, it can be removed. However, we just need to resolve the issue before I actually start my next medicines as clinical trials are very strict in that regard. (By the way, recent scans still show the remaining cancer I have in my body as STABLE)

I think the gall bladder is fixing itself right now, which is how I would prefer it. I want my body to do it, not to have another surgery. So, that just takes a little longer. Yet, I get to be home with my husband and kids and I get to start building a sustainable daily life. This life includes a new vision of what normal is, it includes rest and relaxation, it includes continuing to focus on my health...but also, it includes remembering that my body has an ability to heal and wants to do so. Life is more than good, it is filled with blessings!

I plan on using the down time right now to work on my book. I always end up sharing so much on the blog that I end up being spent when it comes to working on the book. Sometimes, I feel as though it is selfish to work on the book, when I can share NOW on the blog. I am working on those emotions, though, and will try to balance both. The book is just as important because it will reach a new audience. I am excited about it and have had a vision about it since my diagnosis day almost four years ago.

Blessings,
Lolo

P.S. By the way, in case you all didn't know it, I have an amazing husband! Michael totally rocks and is so supportive...I am not even sure how I can put it all into words how great he is. He took the above picture when Jack and he were hanging out a couple of weeks ago while Morgan was in San Francisco. That is Jack's favorite ice cream...Crazy Colors.