Two sisters.

Today, my sister left for the Komen 3 day walk for the CURE. Heather is my big sister, just a year older than me. When we signed up for the walk, it was going to be both of us. We were going to walk with two other girls from our hometown who were forming a team. The Susan G. Komen for the CURE organization is so amazing. They raise so much money and attention for breast cancer. I can not fully articulate the value of an organization like this to a girl like me.

Not only is this organization built on a promise between two sisters, but it was built around the life of a young survivor who didn't have the medicines that I have today to fight. She was young, just 33 when diagnosed. She died three years after her diagnosis. She was lively and vibrant and interesting. If you ever have time, you should go to www.komen.org. Click on the picture of the two sisters on the left and read Susan and Nancy's story. It is powerful and personal.

I must admit I go there every once in a while to be reminded of the difference they have made in my life. I was 32 when diagnosed, I am 36 now. I have been in a battle, but I have so many more treatment methods in my arsenal to fight than anyone did 25 years ago. There is also a multitude of knowledge out there now regarding my specific type of breast cancer. When I read the story about Susan and Nancy, I am also reminded that I have an amazing sister. We Walsh girls are not huge complainers. We like to tough it out like a "boy" would. We don't want to complain or create a bump in the road. Because of this, I have difficulty asking for help. I am getting better at accepting it, but it is still hard for me to ask.

My sister, Heather, always just pitches in. She knows I have difficulty asking for help...especially when it comes to the kids. I don't want their lives to be interrupted by my disease. I want them to know about it and accept it. We talk about it when they ask questions, but I don't want them to fear it. I always want them to see me from a vantage point of empowerment, not weakness. My sis will just call out of the blue and recommend suggestions to help with the kids. When I have had to do surgeries, her husband and her will always offer to watch Morgan and Jack. They will always be delicate and respectful to Michael and me. They will also make it seamless to the kids so that it does not disrupt their lives.

My sister has graciously taken a back-seat to my cancer. It is funny. I spent my whole life tagging on her coat tails, idolizing her. And when I go through something difficult, she is still my hero. She easily takes the burden off of me so that I can fight. For those of you who have never experienced something like a chronic illness, it is an exhausting battle...not only mentally, but physically. It is also not only the patient's battle, but it is the family's battle. The family is whoever fits into your personal posse, this could be friends or family or people you feel comfortable with letting in. So, it is not just my battle, but my sister's as well.

Even though I am not going to be able to walk in the 3-day in Chicago this weekend because of my chemotherapy limitations, my sister and the rest of our team will be there. They are walking for women who have battled this disease, they are walking for me. Sometimes I forget that I have breast cancer. That must seem funny to some of you. It just seems like a bad dream that I will be able to wake up from someday. I spent 32 years of my life healthy and four unhealthy so that is why I forget sometimes. The shock of the diagnosis still has a reverberating effect on me.

But, it is true. I do live with cancer and I will survive it. Like putting on a pair of shoes, I put on my SURVIVOR label every day. It is part of who I am. I will get "healthy" again, but I will always be considered a survivor from here on out. I am getting acclimated to it and am definitely proud of being associated with so many amazing women.

I wish I could be at the walk this weekend, but I am proud that our little team of four tenacious women raised over $12,000 for my disease. To be honest, I am not sure if I would have registered for the walk or raised the money because the goal seemed daunting. I didn't want to ask people for money or ask for help. I also wanted to spend all summer riding my bike. However, I have learned a lot by being a part of this 3-day process. I thought it would be a good experience for me to give back to an organization that has given so much to a small-town girl like me. It was my sister's idea and it was a great idea!

Heather is still doing the walk, of course. She trained all summer and she will trudge her way to 60 miles in Chicago in support of me. I will call her during the evening to see how she is doing and we will celebrate her efforts when she gets home. Funny how it seems that she is still the athlete and I am still her fan from the sidelines. I am totally okay with that, fully accepting of it. I am proud of her doing this walk and I will imagine her walking to a victory, just as I am doing with my treatment. The journey will be long for both of us, but a powerful one for two sisters.

Blessings,
Lolo