May 10th

Today, May 10th, was both Mother's Day and Laura's 37th birthday. Leading up to today, I didn't really know what to expect. I know those of you that knew about the two occasions were concerned about us. The only thing I cared about was making it a normal day for the kids, and not a sad one.

Morgan and Jack decided they wanted to make balloons and send them up to Mommy. They had so much fun doing it, and there was not a sad moment. They wrote messages on each balloon... Jack told me what to write and Morgan wrote her own messages. Both kids just had a great day, a very normal day... not a sad moment for either of them. Morgan had a soccer game this afternoon, her entire team wore pink ribbons in Laura's honor, and her friend Rachel brought her a pink rose.

I must admit, though, it was very difficult for me at times. It was the most emotional day since Laura passed away. It just wasn't right that she couldn't be here. She loved days like this so much... and this would have been her day. I remember her being like a little girl every time she got presents on her birthday, Christmas, etc. I just ached not being able to share this day with her.

This morning, Morgan and I were talking about Laura, as we do every day. Only this time, I broke down and started crying. I was really disappointed in myself because Morgan had been happily talking about her Mommy and I didn't want to upset her. However, she didn't get upset at all. She just hugged me, kept smiling, looked directly in my eyes and insisted "Now Daddy, remember, you have to always think about the happy times with Mommy... you just have to". I couldn't believe it. She is 8. I wondered where she got her wisdom, strength, and compassion. Then I realized the obvious answer....

From Laura.