Rounding the corner, home to the new meds...

Just wanted to give you all a head's up regarding the Jeff City clinical trial I am going to be a part of. It looks like I will be mended enough from the surgery so that Michael and I can get there on Tuesday and redo all the scans. I think I have mentioned before these scans are based on 2 week period of time. My last set of them was two weeks ago so they would be too old for criteria inclusion when we send my padket into Genentech (thedrugco).

Also, a reminder,that because I have had the gaul bladder out recently...the insurance would not allow me to start for 28 days from the surgery. Just another rule they have, but it seems a be reasonable.

All this being said, I am on the schedule to do scans the beginnng of this week witht actual drug in two weeks. I will keep you posted if anything changes.

Blessings,
Lolo

Jack...at TaeKwonDo Tournament

Here is Jack and his over-sized trophy. He loved that his trophy was blue. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but at his age level, the instructors help him do the moves. It was very sweet.

Morgan...at TaeKwonDo Tournament

Morgan, at her second TKD tournament. She got two trophies, one for her form and one for her weapons. She was very proud, just as Michael and her were happy that she tried hard. She is doing wonderfully. Lolo

What it looks like to start over...

This is what it looks like to start all over with the hair growth process. It has been coming in for about six weeks now. It is not very exciting. In fact, I don't think it is flattering at all, however, it is me. Not sure that I will go crazy with all my hair colors like I did before. Right now it is growing in an ashen-brown. It will grow in like this for about six months and then may change texture. It is hard to tell after all this chemo, what my hair will do. But, I am learning that it doesn't matter that much anymore.

Have a great Wednesday!

Laura

All went well!

Had my gall bladder removed yesterday and all went well. I usually do pretty good with surgery, and this was no exception. I can already tell a huge difference. I ate some normal food today, like bread or pasta and did not have any pain associated with eating. I also ate bland food as well. I am ramping up at a normal pace.

It is amazing that through all my cancer journey, this was the one thing that caused me the most pain. However, it is not directly related to cancer at all. I will probably spend the next week just relaxing and healing. I have doctors appointments to follow up with the surgery as well as the clinical trial.

Once we get closer to those steps, I will explain the science behind the medicine. But, if you don't mind, for now...I will just probably take it easy and write on the blog about my recovery. Once again, this is just a testament to pursuing your optimal health. I do get afraid just like everyone else, but I have to believe in my heart...that our instincts can and do guide our health.

I hope that each of you have a wonderful night with your families! I am going to do exactly that!

Laura

My sister and me...

Yesterday was such a nice day. Like I mention below, I am on pain medicines that make me a little loopy so our extended family is helping with the kids and I am being babysat because I can not drive. I have not been out to do normal things for a while, but my sister needed an outfit for a school fund raiser she went to last night. So, I decided to join her because SHOPPING is MY THING!

Her theme was Irish, but the overall theme was Old World Market...or something like that. It was so nice to get out with her and being around Irish things, which remind me of my family. We got her all decked in a warm wool sweater, a scarf, hat and a killer purse. She had the rest of the stuff at home. We also got her husband, Johnny, a hat and scarf, too.

It was so nice to go hang with my sister and see her look so adorable in her outfit! I am sure she rocked the fund raiser last night. I know, in my eyes, she always rocks everything! She is amazing!

Blessings,
Lolo

Verdict is in...gall bladder is coming out!

Hi friends, just a quick update on me. After all this work to figure out whether the gall bladder is still an issue, we have figured out that I should have surgery to get it removed. Ultimately, these decisions come down to the patient and for me, I can tell my gall bladder needs some help, it is just not back to normal.

Of course, at this point, some might think I have a penchant for surgery. I wouldn't disagree with any of you if you thought that, however, I think this is probably the most thoughtful process we have gone through to determine whether this thing should be removed. I feel really good about the fact that this is the best option...as we have gone through most other options.

I have been on IV antibiotics for a while to see if the gall bladder would either resolve itself or "calm down", so to speak. We figured out that the resolution on its own did not work, but the antibiotics may allow me to have a less invasive procedure when I go in. This would be having them go in laparascopically over actually opening me up and taking it out.

The ideal scenario is to do the least invasive so the surgeon is going to try laparoscopic first...then if that does not work, he will do the other. I have been on pain medicines to help reduce the pain. I am not very good at managing this as I tend to just think I should push through the pain. Maybe that is the old athlete in me, regardless, this type of pain is probably the worst I have ever felt...so Michael has been helping me with that. He is, once again, a gem!

My surgery is scheduled for early tomorrow morning, around 7am. I am not sure what my recovery will be like, but I will update the blog for you all as soon as I can. I am praying for the laparoscopic recovery, but will expect to have the longer recovery. Expectations are important to me so I always try to walk through the least favorable scenario so that I can be prepared.

What else? Oh, the reason we really pushed for this surgery now, which we did, is because the clinical trial will want me to recover from this surgery before I start the treatment. Trials are really strict so if we were not to resolve this issue now, I could be kicked out of the trial if I have to have a surgery while on the trial.

I feel like we had about twenty doctors involved in this decision...from my oncologist, GI doctors, general surgeons, radiologists, etc. However, I could not feel better about the decision or the way the surgical team is so thorough. We need to make sure my body is in optimal condition for any medicine. This is that last big hurdle to get us there!

What this means for me in the future is that I will be able to eat normal food, like pizza, and not feel physically bad afterwards. I will be able to regain energy and start working out again. However, I will be taking it really slow. I am sure my family will insist on it and I need to take my time. I haven't felt good for a while so I need to give myself some turnaround time.

Please send any positive thoughts or comments your way. My goal is to have this surgery and to move forward to recovery and keep moving toward optimal health each and every day.

I continue to appreciate all of your support and will write when I can this week.

Blessings,
Lolo

Which came first...

Hi friends, I am sure most of you stayed up last night and watched the election. I did my best, but then had to catch some much needed rest. I don't talk politics, especially not on the blog, so I will just say that I hope that you all find a happy place in your heart for this election. :)

That being said, I wanted to educate you all regarding a couple of things. The first of which is related to your digestive tract. As many of you know, I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of weeks related to this issue. Ironically, my issues are not cancer-related at all, they are just digestive issues. They may be related to a toxic build-up of chemo, but no one is for sure. I am on the mend, but I am still on some pain medicines, which make me really tired, and antibiotics, which help to heal my gall bladder.

So through the process of all this happening with my stint surgeries and infection, we discovered that my gall bladder has sort of stalled out...meaning, it had a lot of gook in it that it wasn't releasing. The gall bladder is an organ that basically stores up bile for the liver. When we digest food, the gall bladder releases bile into the liver and we get rid of the bile and all of the waste. Through doing an ultrasound of me, I overheard the technician's say that my gall bladder was blocked so it wasn't releasing that bile.

Most people might equate gall bladder issues to having gall stones, as this is the most common of things that happens. I did not have actual stones yet, but my gall bladder was blocked, like I had stones. So, this is where that old adage "which came first, the chicken or the egg came in?" Which came first, the gall bladder being infected causing issues with the stint...or vice versa? Having this issue was very painful, at times. I have been through a lot, but I must admit, as they were trying to figure out the problem...there were a lot of moments of pain.

Doctors are not really sure if the gall bladder issue came first or the stint issue came first...they think the stint was blocking the gall bladder, but not sure. Because of all these new procedures they have...that are not considered to be surgical, they were able to go in and fix both. Because I am doing on-going treatment for cancer-related issues, they are always so sensitive with me...they want to make sure to do the least invasive things so I can get back on my merry way and get to treatment. This is great, amazing, really. This type of system was built for me because I do bounce back quickly and keep moving forward.

Regardless, I have had to spend a lot of time "being observed" in the hospital over October. Some of it I have written about on the blog, others of it, I have not. This is my personal choice, not to leave you all out of the mix. But, just because I was sick. At times, I had high fevers or was in a lot of pain as we were trying to figure this thing out. It has not been an easy road and to be honest, a lot of it is just too personal to share on a blog. Believe me, you would not want to know the details. :) I hope that all of you can understand that I am not trying to create a sense of fear on this blog by leaving things out, but a sense of hope. Like any good editor, I still get edit content in order to create the overall message...which is modeling how to LIVE with cancer, NOT DIE with it.

Because of my approach to sharing, it has come to my attention, that some small rumors are flying around that I am doing poorly or that my prognosis with cancer is poor. This could not be further from the truth. I am sorry that people feel that way or that they are worrying about this because it is just a waste of time. I hope that most of you do not feel that way, but I learned a long time ago that I can not change anyone person's fears or perspectives on cancer. I do not have any goal to change you, I just want to keep healing my cancer and generate a message of hope. I don't want any of you to think that cancer is a death sentence, if it happens to you. That is not the case, at all. No offense, but I plan on outliving most of you all anyway. :)

I know that sometimes by sharing information, this creates more questions and/or concerns. Please feel free to share your questions on the blog, as best you can so that others can learn, but also so that I can consolidate my answers. I know this blog is not the easiest to comment on so I will go out and try to work on that this week and figure out the glitches. I have turned on the "anonymous" function to make it easier, but I encourage each of you to write your names or a name on your questions, if you feel comfortable.

All that being said, my next steps are to stay on anti-biotics through the beginning of next week and see how and if my gall bladder heals on its own. The blockage to the gall bladder is open now and things seem to be working. I am able to digest food much better, yet I am sticking to the best low-fat diet as possible. This helps the gall bladder do its work to get me back to normal. I am also in a little pain as this happens because the gall bladder is making up for lost time, trying to pump out excess bile. So, I am on pain medicines until I can get off of them.

The process of getting the antibiotic takes about two hours daily and then there are the pain medicines, which require me to be away from my computer, at times. Once again, my whole family and Michael's family has pitched into help. My main goal is to be around the kids and play with them, but while on a sedating drug...I don't want to be the main caregiver. But the truth is Morgan and Jack and I are just so glad to be with each other and not in the hospital, that we will take anything we will get.

This past journey of finding my way through this digestive issue in October has had mixed blessings, yet I want to state that we have finally sourced the problem now, not just the symptom. We still don't know which came first, the gall bladder or the stint issues...but we know they were related. We also know my gall bladder will either resolve itself with these medicines or we have other options. The gall bladder is not a necessary organ...like the appendix or the spleen, it can be removed. However, we just need to resolve the issue before I actually start my next medicines as clinical trials are very strict in that regard. (By the way, recent scans still show the remaining cancer I have in my body as STABLE)

I think the gall bladder is fixing itself right now, which is how I would prefer it. I want my body to do it, not to have another surgery. So, that just takes a little longer. Yet, I get to be home with my husband and kids and I get to start building a sustainable daily life. This life includes a new vision of what normal is, it includes rest and relaxation, it includes continuing to focus on my health...but also, it includes remembering that my body has an ability to heal and wants to do so. Life is more than good, it is filled with blessings!

I plan on using the down time right now to work on my book. I always end up sharing so much on the blog that I end up being spent when it comes to working on the book. Sometimes, I feel as though it is selfish to work on the book, when I can share NOW on the blog. I am working on those emotions, though, and will try to balance both. The book is just as important because it will reach a new audience. I am excited about it and have had a vision about it since my diagnosis day almost four years ago.

Blessings,
Lolo

P.S. By the way, in case you all didn't know it, I have an amazing husband! Michael totally rocks and is so supportive...I am not even sure how I can put it all into words how great he is. He took the above picture when Jack and he were hanging out a couple of weeks ago while Morgan was in San Francisco. That is Jack's favorite ice cream...Crazy Colors.

Morgan, in her pink gear!

Morgan's class dressed up in pink last Thursday, for breast cancer awareness. It was very sweet. They made cards for people in the hospital for cancer treatment and the recipients loved them.

As far as my recovery goes, I am doing well. We are just giving my body time to heal a little before I start the new treatment. I am sure we will head out to Jefferson City one day this week to do updated blood counts and then start shortly, thereafter.

We are doing well. I hope that each of you are doing well, too. I have to get Jacky to school now so I will write more later.

Lolo