Changed my picture...

So I changed my picture to one of my new looks. The ETA on my hair loss is around Friday of next week (May 23rd). However, my scalp is already sore, which is a sign that the hair is on the move OUT. I am getting a couple of fun wigs this time. I am not insisting on real hair because I did that last time and I learned it doesn't really matter. Real hair wigs are SO expensive. I actually learned that hair doesn't matter. I can't believe I am saying this because the Laura of four years ago cared about her hair, even coveted it a little. I guess that is my life lesson to learn during this process...or at least one of them. People love me even if I don't have my hair. That is a wonderful thing to know.

My kids don't care about my hair. They are already chomping at the bit to shave my head. My husband doesn't care. He says I look cute bald. Wow, what a nice guy, huh? My mom and my sister and my dad don't care...neither do my friends. As it turns out, the only one who cared about my hair was ME (and my hairstylist...she likes my hair.) I wish I was comfortable enough to ROCK the bald look, but I am not. I won't go around showing my bald head to any of you. That is a limited access kind of thing. But as soon as a small layer of growth comes back, I will just live with the short hair look as it grows back in.

In anticipation of losing it, my hair stylist and I are getting together this weekend to cut it super short. It will help because my hair is thick and heavy and it will really start to ache when it starts to shed. Incidentally, I am saving some of the hair on my scalp to send in for some toxicity testing with this nutritionists. I will be interested to see if she says I have aspartame overload from all that soda I used to drink. The test is cool because she will tell me what to take to detox my liver. I will only do this if approved by my oncologist and may selectively choose the things the nutritionist says based on the medicine I will be on at the time. I will keep you posted on the results.

Don't get me wrong. It will be sad to lose my hair again. But, I grieve quickly. I let myself be sad...I mean, fully feel it, and then I move on about two minutes later. Life goes on. Hair grows back. In some ways, the shedding of my hair allows me to feel the cancer being purged from my body. It is a visible sign of the purification going on within my body. I am alive and on the mend. I will learn to live without my hair, again. And, I will learn to accept it when it grows back.

Blessings,
Lolo