Another anniversary!

Tomorrow is another anniversary. Michael and I will have been married for nine years. We have known each other for much longer and we dated for about three years before we married. Michael, when I met him, was known as one of the smartest guys in our business school. I found him intimidating, in a good way, and interesting. He made me laugh and he still does. Regardless of all the cancer crud, he can still make me laugh and he can still make me believe in myself.

I visited with one of my good cancer survivor friends today and we were talking about scans and how those affect us. Some survivors call scan time "inscanity". I would use that term a lot more if I had made it up. I wish I had because it describes how scans make me feel, a little crazy. Most survivors have scans every six months and then move to every year after they had make the two-year anniversary without a recurrence. This two year mark is a coveted anniversary because most recurrences happen within the first two years.

With me, because I have been stage IV from the beginning, I have scans every two months. As I improve, those will increase potentially to four months or six months, but it will take a while for me to get there. My good friend asked me how I get through so many sets of scans going on every two months and I told her that Michael is my biggest good luck charm. He gets all the results from the doctors and calls me...good or bad, he will take those results and call everyone in the family.

The truth is that we don't have a perfect marriage and we work on things all of the time. No one's marriage is perfect, but there is amazing room for love within the dance of marriage. We try to make eachother better and to understand each other as best we can. Sometimes we are right on track, sometimes not. But, I do know one thing...that I really got a great partner who knows how to deal with me and my disease. He knows how to accept the blows and celebrate the wins. I can't imagine anyone accepting me so well with all my scars, flaws and known tumors. He is okay with me and I am content with him. He really has the concept of being a teamplayer down...whether he learned that from his family or from being on an actual team, I do not know. But, having a good man believe in my ability to heal means the world to me.

He is a lot of other things, such as a strong leader and an amazing dad, but that is not what this post is about. This post is how he takes care of me and the truth is he does it much better than I take care of him. This nine years has flown. Even with the hardships of cancer, we still have an ability to see eachother for who we are in that moment and accept whatever that is. Of course, I read books about having a good marriage and keep trying to figure out how to get better...mostly myself. I just try to see my flaws before I see his and I think that helps me stay kind. I think kindness can only come from a loving heart and I always want to be loving toward others, especially such an accepting partner and friend.

I hope each of you feel truly accepted by someone in this world. My mom always told me that if I have even one or two good friends in this world, I should count myself lucky. I definitely do.

Blessings,
Lolo