Half a percent.

So, in my laymen's understanding of cancer diagnosis, I will tell you that lymph node involvement with cancer CAN be a prognostic indicator that the cancer will recur in the body, but DOES NOT always mean this. This is where the adage "Everyone's cancer is unique" really comes into play. I think it is important to note that when physician's are using these indicators, a lot of times they are using standard studies that evaluate everything on a five-year length of time. That is why they tell you your odds of living in five-year terms.

Now, if you are a young person like me, you will find the odds of living beyond five years to be more than shocking and a little insulting. The same is true for any statistics regarding survival within five years. Once they gave me any number less than 100%, I told them I wasn't interested in the information. There is actually an internet tool that doctors can use to enter in your type of cancer and the meds that you use and your survival stats will shift based on the treatments you do. A bizarre way to manipulate data.

I remember being irritated with my first oncologist because regardless of the data he entered in the search engine, I never got to 100%. I was an A student my whole life, and just wanted a chance to get an A, but I was barely making a B in this classroom. So, I decided their measures were measures they would use for themselves and that I did not want to be involved with any percent survivals or any numbers anymore.

I am a numbers girl, at heart. Don't get me wrong. I love math and I loved my jobs that involved data management. Michael runs a company that does data management. We are a data geek house, yet when it comes to your own life...when do statistics matter? The only stat that I let affect me is that as a 32 year-old woman, I had a 0.4% chance of getting this disease. Half a percent.

This half a percent helped me to make the decision not only to have a mastectomy, but a bilateral mastectomy. The percentages of local recurrence increased year over year in the breast tissue. I can not remember the specifics, but all the percentages were bigger than half a percent. So, I didn't want any of that vulnerable tissue on my body even if it meant I couldn't nurse another child and that I would lose sensation. The risk was bigger than half a percent.

This half a percent helped me make a lot of decisions. It helped me decide to get genetic testing because they told me i only had a 7% chance of having the genetic markers for breast cancer. Seven percent seems small but it is a lot higher than half a percent. I had to know for my Mom, my sister and my daughter...it turns out I have none of the known markers.

Last but not least, the half of percent is my true gauge of survival. I know many people are told their stats for survival over the five year period and certainly I was at the beginning. However, once we confirmed my initial spot on my liver as breast cancer, that jumped me to stage IV status with my cancer. So, I told my doctor never to give me a survival statistic again because anything greater than half a percent would be fine with me. I could do it because that was my stat in relation to getting this disease.

Like I said, I am a math nerd...but I don't cling to the numbers anymore when it comes to my cancer. As far as I am concerned, any number greater than half a percent is something I can and will acheive!:)

Have a great Monday!
Blessings,
Lolo