Feeling better.

Wow. What a crazy week. I am finally feeling a bit normal today, which is nice. I almost wrote yesterday, but I just wanted to rest. Every time I would get close to the computer, I would just get exhausted. I wasn't sure what to post about because i always try to remain so positive, but then I thought I could just tell you all a little about the chemotherapy and why it is having this effect on me. I can still stay positive in thought while explaining the harshness of chemo.

Fatigue is one of the side effects that is difficult to assess over time. Many of the side effects will come and go, depending on treatment schedule..yet fatigue sets in and builds. It is sort of bizarre, the type of fatigue that you feel in your bones. It is a weariness that is strange to me because I am usually so full of energy and ready to do anything. But, I am learning a lot through this season of rest and healing.

I am not sure why fatigue builds, but it does. My oncology nurse even explained it to me in that way, that fatigue is one of the hard symptoms to fight because the body is working so hard over time. Sometimes, I feel bad for my little body. It is overwhelmed, not sure what to do. In theory, the cancer became a friendly entity to my body so my natural killer cells did not try to fight it off...or did try, but had a hard time doing it.

Now we are barraging me with all these meds to ignite the fight my body should have initiated. I am hoping that my immune system is figuring things out and starting to pitch in, but it may be too confused right now. Regardless, these medicines are helping me a lot. The scan results were great, yet cancer still lives within me. The truth is that I could probably live way into my nineties with cancerous tumors in me...as long as they didn't grow.

The two things the doctors look for on the scans are growth and the level of SUV on the scans. The SUV is difficult to explain, but essentially the more glucose solution a tumor absorbs...the more ferocious the growth. They have cut my SUV in half with this chemo which is amazing and probably the most important thing. It is like taking the venom out of a snake. The less ferocious or aggressive the cancer, the lesser chance it will have to continue to overtake my immune system over time.

I should say that I think my immune system did a pretty good job before I got diagnosed. I was tired all of the time, but once I got diagnosed it explained so much about my fatigue. My body was fighting on its own without any meds and kept the cancer to small tumors. Regardless, cancer cells grow and divide more quickly in young women. It is just the way our bodies work. Everything moves more quickly more quickly for the young. (I have never prayed more for a slowing metabolism.:)

I will go in for Herceptin today. It is just a maintenance drug and it causes some mild fevers for me, but I can take Motrin for the fever. It will be nice to have a break from the chemo this week. I know I am winning the fight, but this is also a long journey that I have to condition myself for. I have more chemo to come, but for now I will just let my body heal as best I can...and work on acceptance of my short-term limitations. I am in this life for the long haul and sometimes there are bumps in the road.

Have a wonderful 4th of July!

Blessings,
Lolo